• [ANSI] Joke of the Day

    From JokeMaster@316:36/17 to All on Monday, July 06, 2020 04:15:18

    After a rough day spent corralling my rowdy kids,
    I'd had enough.

    "I think I'm going to sell them," I hissed to
    my sister.

    "You're crazy," she said.

    "For thinking of selling them?"

    "For thinking someone would buy them."

    ***********************************

    RCS Joke Post 1.0.2.2
    (c)2018-2019


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  • From JokeMaster@316:36/17 to All on Tuesday, July 07, 2020 04:15:12

    She was only a whiskey-maker,

    but he loved her still.

    ***********************************

    RCS Joke Post 1.0.2.2
    (c)2018-2019


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  • From JokeMaster@316:36/17 to All on Wednesday, July 08, 2020 04:15:16

    A blonde goes into work one morning crying her
    eyes out. Her boss, concerned about his employee's
    well being, asks sympathetically, "What's the
    matter?"

    The blonde replies, "Early this morning I got a
    phone call saying that my mother had passed away."

    "I'm terribly sorry to hear that. Why don't you go
    home for the day... we aren't terribly busy. Just
    take the day off to relax and rest."

    The blonde very calmly explains, "No, I'd be
    better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and
    I have the best chance of doing that here."

    The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as
    usual. "If you need anything, just let me know,"
    he says.

    A few hours pass and the boss decides to check on
    the blonde. He looks out over his office and sees
    the blonde crying hysterically. He rushes out to
    her, and asks, "Are you going to be okay? Is there
    anything I can do to help?"

    "No," replies the blonde, "I just got a call from
    my sister, and she said that HER mom died too!"

    ***********************************

    RCS Joke Post 1.0.2.2
    (c)2018-2019


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  • From JokeMaster@316:36/17 to All on Thursday, July 09, 2020 04:15:10

    Bob: "Have you seen the movie Constipation?"

    Jim: "No, it hasn't come out yet."

    ***********************************

    RCS Joke Post 1.0.2.2
    (c)2018-2019


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  • From JokeMaster@316:36/17 to All on Friday, July 10, 2020 04:15:06

    Every Scooby-Doo episode would literally be two
    minutes long if the gang went to the mask store
    first and asked a few questions.

    ***********************************

    RCS Joke Post 1.0.2.2
    (c)2018-2019


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  • From JokeMaster@316:36/17 to All on Saturday, July 11, 2020 04:15:12

    Zoo visitor: What's the new baby hippo's name?

    Hippopotamus keeper: I don't know, he won't tell
    me.

    ***********************************

    RCS Joke Post 1.0.2.2
    (c)2018-2019


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  • From JokeMaster@316:36/17 to All on Sunday, July 12, 2020 04:15:06

    My son, Scott, an insurance broker in Florida,
    loves ocean fishing and takes his cell phone along
    on the boat. One morning we were drifting about
    ten miles offshore as Scott discussed business on
    the phone. Suddenly his rod bent double, and the
    reel screamed as line poured off the spool.

    Scott was master of the situation. "Pardon me," he
    told his customer calmly. "I have a call on
    another line."

    ***********************************

    RCS Joke Post 1.0.2.2
    (c)2018-2019


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  • From JokeMaster@316:36/17 to All on Monday, July 13, 2020 04:15:16

    What did the ill comic say in the hospital?

    "I'm here . all weak!

    ***********************************

    RCS Joke Post 1.0.2.2
    (c)2018-2019


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  • From JokeMaster@316:36/17 to All on Tuesday, July 14, 2020 04:15:08

    A man took his dog to the vet and asked the vet to
    completely remove the dogs tail. The vet confused
    said "Why do you want me to do that? The dogs tail
    is perfectly healthy."

    The man replied "Well the wifes mother comes this
    weekend and I want to make sure there are no signs
    of any welcome!!

    ***********************************

    RCS Joke Post 1.0.2.2
    (c)2018-2019


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  • From JokeMaster@316:36/17 to All on Wednesday, July 15, 2020 04:15:12

    A worker approaches his employer and holds up his
    last pay check. `This is two hundred dollars
    short,' he says.

    `I know,' says the employer. `But last week I
    overpaid you two hundred dollars, and you didn't
    say anything.'

    `Well,' says the worker. `I don't mind an
    occasional mistake. But when it gets to be a
    habit, I feel I have to call it to your
    attention.'

    ***********************************

    RCS Joke Post 1.0.2.2
    (c)2018-2019


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  • From JokeMaster@316:36/17 to All on Thursday, July 16, 2020 04:15:12

    I surf the web a lot, and I guess I was using
    too much bandwidth, because the other day I got
    an automated phone call from my service
    provider. It was The Rolling Stones singing,
    "Hey, you. Get off of my cloud!"

    ***********************************

    RCS Joke Post 1.0.2.2
    (c)2018-2019


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  • From JokeMaster@316:36/17 to All on Friday, July 17, 2020 04:15:06

    Q: Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire
    State Building?
    A: Of course. The Empire State Building can't
    jump.

    ***********************************

    RCS Joke Post 1.0.2.2
    (c)2018-2019


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  • From JokeMaster@316:36/17 to All on Saturday, July 18, 2020 04:15:12

    During orientation at Fort Sill, in Oklahoma, our
    first sergeant stated that if anyone lost his
    locker key to see him, as he kept a master key in
    his office. Sure enough, a few weeks later, I lost
    my key. I walked into the orderly's room and asked
    Sarge if I could borrow his master key.

    "Why, certainly, young man," he said, as he
    reached under his desk and handed me a large pair
    of bolt cutters.

    ***********************************

    RCS Joke Post 1.0.2.2
    (c)2018-2019


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  • From JokeMaster@316:36/17 to All on Sunday, July 19, 2020 04:15:06

    Two Canadian guys, Mike and Rob were on the roof,
    laying tile, when a sudden gust of wind came and
    knocked down their ladder.

    "I have an idea," said Mike. "We'll throw you
    down, and then you can pick up the ladder."

    "What, do you think I'm stupid? I have an idea.
    I'll shine my flashlight, and you can climb down
    on the beam of light."

    "What, do you think I'm stupid? You'll just turn
    off the flashlight when I'm halfway there."

    ***********************************

    RCS Joke Post 1.0.2.2
    (c)2018-2019


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  • From JokeMaster@316:36/17 to All on Monday, July 20, 2020 04:15:12

    Bank Name

    Mother decided that 10-year-old Cathy should get
    something 'practical' for her birthday.

    "Suppose we open a savings account for you?"
    mother suggested. Cathy was delighted.

    "It's your account, darling," mother said as they
    arrived at the bank, "so you fill out the
    application."

    Cathy was doing fine until she came to the space
    for 'Name of your former bank.' After a slight
    hesitation, she put down 'Piggy.'

    ***********************************

    RCS Joke Post 1.0.2.2
    (c)2018-2019


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  • From JokeMaster@316:36/17 to All on Tuesday, July 21, 2020 04:15:08

    Today's hospitals don't kid around. I won't say
    what happens if you don't pay a bill, but did you
    ever have tonsils put back in?

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    RCS Joke Post 1.0.2.2
    (c)2018-2019


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  • From JokeMaster@316:36/17 to All on Wednesday, July 22, 2020 04:15:14

    This week we celebrate a special birthday. Monica
    Lewinsky turned 45.

    Can you believe it? It seems like only yesterday
    she was crawling around the White House on her
    hands and knees, and putting everything in her
    mouth.

    They grow up so fast, don't they?

    ***********************************

    RCS Joke Post 1.0.2.2
    (c)2018-2019


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  • From JokeMaster@316:36/17 to All on Thursday, July 23, 2020 04:15:08

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    There once was a baby elephant and a baby turtle
    drinking from a river deep in the jungle. For no
    reason, the turtle reaches over and bites the
    elephant's tail, really hard.

    Years and years later, the same elephant, now
    grown up, is by the same river, having a drink
    with his giraffe buddy, when the same turtle that
    bit him on the tail all those years ago wanders up
    to the river.

    The elephant rears back a leg and kicks the turtle
    as hard as he can, sending him flying way off into
    the jungle.

    "Why did you do that?" the giraffe asks.

    "When we both were babies, that turtle bit my tail
    for no reason," the elephant replied.

    "Wow! You must have a good memory!" exclaimed the
    giraffe.

    "Yep!" said the elephant."I've got Turtle-Recall."

    ***********************************

    RCS Joke Post 1.0.2.2
    (c)2018-2019


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  • From JokeMaster@316:36/17 to All on Friday, July 24, 2020 04:15:04

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    My house is haunted by a ghostwriter. Last night,
    I came home and my autobiography had been written.

    ***********************************

    RCS Joke Post 1.0.2.2
    (c)2018-2019


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  • From JokeMaster@316:36/17 to All on Saturday, July 25, 2020 04:15:10

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    At three o'clock one morning a veterinary surgeon
    was woken from a deep sleep by the ringing of his
    telephone. He staggered downstairs and answered
    the phone. "I'm sorry if I woke you," said a voice
    at the other end of the line.

    "That's all right," said the vet, "I had to get up
    to answer the telephone anyway."

    ***********************************

    RCS Joke Post 1.0.2.2
    (c)2018-2019


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  • From JokeMaster@316:36/17 to All on Sunday, July 26, 2020 04:15:04

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    If growing up in the '80s taught me one thing,
    it's that my friends and I should have found a
    treasure map by now.

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    RCS Joke Post 1.0.2.2
    (c)2018-2019


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  • From JokeMaster@316:36/17 to All on Monday, July 27, 2020 04:15:12

    ***********************************

    A blind man walks into a store with his seeing eye
    dog. All of a sudden, he picks up the leash and
    begins swinging the dog over his head. The manager
    runs up to the man and asks,
    "What are you doing?!!"

    The blind man replies,
    "Just looking around."

    ***********************************

    RCS Joke Post 1.0.2.2
    (c)2018-2019


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  • From JokeMaster@316:36/17 to All on Tuesday, July 28, 2020 04:15:08

    ***********************************

    These great questions and answers are from the
    days when the Hollywood Squares game show
    responses were spontaneous, not scripted, as they
    are now. Peter Marshall was the host asking the
    questions, of course.

    Q. Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat?
    A. Paul Lynde: Loneliness!
    (The audience laughed so long and so hard it took
    up almost 15 minutes of the show!)

    Q. Do female frogs croak?
    A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads
    under water long enough.

    Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at
    least how high should you be?
    A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking
    should do it.

    Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000
    years.
    A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way
    sometimes.

    Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are
    you probably a man or a woman?
    A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.

    Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a
    stranger at a party and you think that he is
    attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him
    if he's married?
    A. Rose Marie: No wait until morning.

    Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as
    you get older?
    A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.

    Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words
    to say 'I Love You'?
    A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a
    pineapple and a twenty.

    Q. What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't
    Get Enough'?
    A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming
    from the next apartment.

    Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more
    or less with your hands while talking?
    A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old
    question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture
    you'll never forget.

    Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
    A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

    Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow
    strawberries. Are you going to get any during
    the first year?
    A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy
    growing strawberries.

    Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
    A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.

    Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two
    subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what
    is the other?
    A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.

    Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom
    or in the closet?
    A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always
    safe in the bedroom.

    Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
    A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.

    Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his
    tail. What will a goose do?
    A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?

    Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would
    you give birth to?
    A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be
    afraid of the dark.

    Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything
    wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a
    lot of people?
    A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the Army.

    Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of
    your body, what is it?
    A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it
    certainly isn't neglected..

    Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put
    horseradish on his head, what was he trying to
    do?
    A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.

    Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time,
    your wife or your elephant?
    A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?

    Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible
    for its sex?
    A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest
    is up to him...

    Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly
    believes in them and has actually seen them on
    at least two occasions. What are they?
    A. Charley Weaver: His feet.

    Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things
    you should never do in bed?
    A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh

    ***********************************

    RCS Joke Post 1.0.2.2
    (c)2018-2019


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  • From JokeMaster@316:36/17 to All on Wednesday, July 29, 2020 04:15:12

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    My ESL students try so hard and are so
    appreciative. One student paid me the ultimate
    compliment when she said, "You teach English
    good."
    Another assured me, "I will always forget you."
    And a third insisted, "I thank you from the heart
    of my bottom."

    ***********************************

    RCS Joke Post 1.0.2.2
    (c)2018-2019


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  • From JokeMaster@316:36/17 to All on Thursday, July 30, 2020 04:15:08

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    You're a dumb criminal if ...

    ... You let your supply of antismoking patches run
    out. An Indiana state trooper stopped a car for a
    traffic violation. When a passenger, Honesty
    Knight, asked if she could smoke, the officer said
    yes. She proceeded, police say, to light up a
    joint.

    ***********************************

    RCS Joke Post 1.0.2.2
    (c)2018-2019


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  • From JokeMaster@316:36/17 to All on Friday, July 31, 2020 04:15:16

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    Why did the ant-elope?

    Nobody gnu!

    ***********************************

    RCS Joke Post 1.0.2.2
    (c)2018-2019


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  • From JokeMaster@316:36/17 to All on Saturday, August 01, 2020 04:15:08

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    Two guys are out hunting in the woods when one of
    them collapses. He doesn't appear to be breathing,
    his eyes are glazed over. The other man pulls out
    his phone with trembling fingers and calls 911.
    He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?"

    The operator says "Please stay calm. I will help
    you. First of all, let's make sure he's dead."

    There's a silence, then a gun shot.
    The guy gets back on the phone and says
    "OK, now what?"

    ***********************************

    RCS Joke Post 1.0.2.2
    (c)2018-2019


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  • From JokeMaster@316:36/17 to All on Sunday, August 02, 2020 04:15:14

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    When I lost my rifle,
    the Army charged me $85.

    That's why in the Navy,
    the captain goes down with the ship.

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    RCS Joke Post 1.0.2.2
    (c)2018-2019


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  • From JokeMaster@316:36/17 to All on Monday, August 03, 2020 04:15:08

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    When a woman applies for a job at a citrus grove,
    the foreman asks, "Do you have any experience
    picking lemons?"

    "Well," she answers,
    "I've been divorced three times."

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    RCS Joke Post 1.0.2.2
    (c)2018-2019


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  • From JokeMaster@316:36/17 to All on Tuesday, August 04, 2020 04:15:04

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    My cooking has always been the target of family
    jokes. One evening, as I prepared dinner a bit too
    quickly, the kitchen filled with smoke and the
    smoke detector went off. Although both of my
    children had received fire-safety training at
    school, they did not respond to the alarm.
    Annoyed, I stormed through the house in search of
    them. I found them in the bathroom, washing their
    hands.

    Over the loud buzzing of the smoke alarm, I asked
    them to identify the sound.

    "It's the smoke detector," they replied in unison.

    "Do you know what that sound means?" I demanded.

    "Sure," my oldest replied. "Dinner's ready."

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    RCS Joke Post 1.0.2.2
    (c)2018-2019


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  • From JokeMaster@316:36/17 to All on Wednesday, August 05, 2020 04:15:10

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    Two satellites decided to get married.

    The wedding wasn't much,
    but the reception was incredible.

    ***********************************

    RCS Joke Post 1.0.2.2
    (c)2018-2019


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  • From JokeMaster@316:36/17 to All on Thursday, August 06, 2020 04:15:06

    ***********************************

    Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, are all
    excited about their decision to get married. They
    go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the
    way they pass a drugstore. Jacob suggests they go
    in. Jacob addresses the man behind the counter:
    "Are you the owner?"

    The pharmacist answers "Yes".

    Jacob: "We're about to get married. Do you sell
    heart medication?"

    Pharmacist: "Of course we do."

    Jacob: "How about medicine for circulation?"

    Pharmacist: "All kinds."

    Jacob: "Medicine for rheumatism, scoliosis? "

    Pharmacist: "Definitely."

    Jacob: "How about Viagra?"

    Pharmacist: "Of course."

    Jacob: "Medicine for memory problems, arthritis,
    Jaundice?"

    Pharmacist: "Yes, a large variety. The works."

    Jacob: "What about vitamins, sleeping pills,
    Geritol, antidotes for Parkinson's disease?"

    Pharmacist: "Absolutely."

    Jacob: "You sell wheelchairs and walkers?"

    Pharmacist: "All speeds and sizes."

    Jacob says to the pharmacist: "Good, we'd like to
    use this store as our Bridal Registry!"

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    RCS Joke Post 1.0.2.2
    (c)2018-2019


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  • From JokeMaster@316:36/17 to All on Friday, August 07, 2020 04:15:10

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    Q: What did the reindeer say
    before telling his joke?

    A: This one'll sleigh you!

    ***********************************

    RCS Joke Post 1.0.2.2
    (c)2018-2019


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  • From JokeMaster@316:36/17 to All on Saturday, August 08, 2020 04:15:06

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    Why are there interstates in Hawaii?

    Why are there flotation devices under plane seats
    instead of parachutes?

    Is it ok to use my AM radio after NOON?

    What color is a chameleon on a mirror?

    Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

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    RCS Joke Post 1.0.2.2
    (c)2018-2019


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  • From JokeMaster@316:36/17 to All on Sunday, August 09, 2020 04:15:14

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    Driving to work, a gentlman had to swerve to avoid
    a box that fell out of a truck in front of him.
    Seconds later, a policeman pulled him over for
    reckless driving.

    Fortunately, another officer had seen the carton
    in the road. The policmen stopped traffic and
    recovered the box. It was found to contain large
    upholstery tacks.

    "I'm sorry sir," the first trooper told the
    driver, "but I am still going to have to write you
    a ticket."

    Amazed, the driver asked for what.

    The trooper replied, "Tacks evasion."

    ***********************************

    RCS Joke Post 1.0.2.2
    (c)2018-2019


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    --- up 3 weeks, 3 days, 8 hours, 39 minutes
    * Origin: -=> Castle Rock BBS <=- Now Husky HPT Powered! (316:36/17)
  • From JokeMaster@316:36/17 to All on Monday, August 10, 2020 04:15:12

    ***********************************

    Did you hear about the TV show with FBI agents
    and witches?

    It's called The Hex-Files.

    ***********************************

    RCS Joke Post 1.0.2.2
    (c)2018-2019


    ---
    --- up 3 weeks, 4 days, 8 hours, 39 minutes
    * Origin: -=> Castle Rock BBS <=- Now Husky HPT Powered! (316:36/17)
  • From JokeMaster@316:36/17 to All on Tuesday, August 11, 2020 04:15:06

    ***********************************

    Q: How can you drop a raw egg onto a
    concrete floor without cracking it?

    A: Any way you want,
    concrete floors are very hard to crack.

    ***********************************

    RCS Joke Post 1.0.2.2
    (c)2018-2019


    ---
    --- up 3 weeks, 5 days, 8 hours, 39 minutes
    * Origin: -=> Castle Rock BBS <=- Now Husky HPT Powered! (316:36/17)
  • From JokeMaster@316:36/17 to All on Wednesday, August 12, 2020 04:15:12

    ***********************************

    A child asked his father, "How were people born?"

    So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies,
    then their babies became adults and made babies,
    and so on."

    The child then went to his mother, asked her the
    same question and she told him, "We were monkeys
    then we evolved to become like we are now."

    The child ran back to his father and said, "You
    lied to me!"

    His father replied, "No, your mom was talking
    about her side of the family."

    ***********************************

    RCS Joke Post 1.0.2.2
    (c)2018-2019


    ---
    --- up 3 weeks, 6 days, 8 hours, 39 minutes
    * Origin: -=> Castle Rock BBS <=- Now Husky HPT Powered! (316:36/17)
  • From JokeMaster@316:36/17 to All on Thursday, August 13, 2020 04:15:18

    ***********************************

    Teacher:
    "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"

    Student:
    "Meat!"

    Teacher:
    "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"

    Student:
    "Bacon!"

    Teacher:
    "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"

    Student:
    "Homework!"

    ***********************************

    RCS Joke Post 1.0.2.2
    (c)2018-2019


    ---
    --- up 4 weeks, 8 hours, 39 minutes
    * Origin: -=> Castle Rock BBS <=- Now Husky HPT Powered! (316:36/17)
  • From JokeMaster@316:36/17 to All on Friday, August 14, 2020 04:15:16

    ***********************************

    What did the zoo keeper say when he saw four
    elephants walking over the hill towards him
    wearing sunglasses?

    Nothing, he didn't recognize them!

    ***********************************

    RCS Joke Post 1.0.2.2
    (c)2018-2019


    ---
    --- up 4 weeks, 1 day, 8 hours, 39 minutes
    * Origin: -=> Castle Rock BBS <=- Now Husky HPT Powered! (316:36/17)
  • From JokeMaster@316:36/17 to All on Saturday, August 15, 2020 04:15:10

    ***********************************

    Q. What's the difference between 'weather' and
    'climate'?

    A. You can't 'weather' a tree, but you can
    'climate'

    ***********************************

    RCS Joke Post 1.0.2.2
    (c)2018-2019


    ---
    --- up 4 weeks, 2 days, 8 hours, 39 minutes
    * Origin: -=> Castle Rock BBS <=- Now Husky HPT Powered! (316:36/17)
  • From JokeMaster@316:36/17 to All on Sunday, August 16, 2020 04:15:04

    ***********************************

    I'm not saying that the customer service in my
    bank is bad, but when I went in the other day and
    asked the clerk to check my balance she leaned
    over and pushed me.

    ***********************************

    RCS Joke Post 1.0.2.2
    (c)2018-2019


    ---
    --- up 4 weeks, 3 days, 8 hours, 39 minutes
    * Origin: -=> Castle Rock BBS <=- Now Husky HPT Powered! (316:36/17)
  • From JokeMaster@316:36/17 to All on Monday, August 17, 2020 04:15:12

    ***********************************

    Q: What kind of exercise do lazy people do?

    A: Diddly-squats.

    ***********************************

    RCS Joke Post 1.0.2.2
    (c)2018-2019


    ---
    --- up 4 weeks, 4 days, 8 hours, 39 minutes
    * Origin: -=> Castle Rock BBS <=- Now Husky HPT Powered! (316:36/17)
  • From JokeMaster@316:36/17 to All on Tuesday, August 18, 2020 04:15:04

    ***********************************

    This farmer has 500 hens but no rooster so he goes
    to his neighbor and asks him if he could buy a
    rooster for $100. The neighbor says, "You can have
    this rooster. His name's Roy. He'll get all your
    hens pregnant. He's a real stud."

    So the farmer takes him home and says, "It's your
    first day so take it slow, okay?" The farmer puts
    Roy in the hen house and then hears all the hens
    crying and yelling. Roy nailed every one of those
    hens and then nailed a duck and a goose at a pond.

    The next morning the farmer finds Roy lying dead
    with his legs sticking in the air and buzzards
    circling overhead. The farmer says, "Roy, did you
    have to die?"

    Roy says, "Quiet! They're about to land!"

    ***********************************

    RCS Joke Post 1.0.2.2
    (c)2018-2019


    ---
    --- up 4 weeks, 5 days, 8 hours, 39 minutes
    * Origin: -=> Castle Rock BBS <=- Now Husky HPT Powered! (316:36/17)
  • From JokeMaster@316:36/17 to All on Wednesday, August 19, 2020 04:15:16

    ***********************************

    One day, Little Johnny's grandmother sent him to
    the water hole to get some water for cooking
    dinner.

    As he was dipping the bucket in, he saw two big
    eyes looking back at him. He dropped the bucket
    and ran back to grandma's house as fast as he
    could.

    "Where's my bucket and my water?" She asked.

    "I can't get any water from that water hole,
    there's a mean ol' alligator down there!"

    "Now don't you mind that ol' alligator, Johnny.
    He's been there for years, and he's never hurt no
    one. Why, he's probably as scared of you as you
    are of him!"

    "Well, Grandma," replied Johnny, "if he's as
    scared of me as I am of him, then that water ain't
    fit to drink!"

    ***********************************

    RCS Joke Post 1.0.2.2
    (c)2018-2019


    ---
    --- up 4 weeks, 6 days, 8 hours, 39 minutes
    * Origin: -=> Castle Rock BBS <=- Now Husky HPT Powered! (316:36/17)
  • From JokeMaster@316:36/17 to All on Thursday, August 20, 2020 04:15:10

    ***********************************

    Life Hack:

    If you're tired of waiting at a restaurant,
    just call their number and ask
    if they also deliver to table 16.

    ***********************************

    RCS Joke Post 1.0.2.2
    (c)2018-2019


    ---
    --- up 5 weeks, 8 hours, 39 minutes
    * Origin: -=> Castle Rock BBS <=- Now Husky HPT Powered! (316:36/17)
  • From JokeMaster@316:36/17 to All on Friday, August 21, 2020 04:15:14

    ***********************************

    I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth when my
    squad leader barged in. He was holding a
    toothbrush, which he proceeded to use to scrub
    underneath the rim of a toilet.

    "What are you doing?" I asked.

    "Hazing the new guy," he said with a grin.

    "You do know that he could get ill from the
    bacteria on the toilet."

    His reply was quick and to the point:
    "You didn't."

    ***********************************

    RCS Joke Post 1.0.2.2
    (c)2018-2019


    ---
    --- up 5 weeks, 1 day, 8 hours, 39 minutes
    * Origin: -=> Castle Rock BBS <=- Now Husky HPT Powered! (316:36/17)
  • From JokeMaster@316:36/17 to All on Saturday, August 22, 2020 04:15:14

    ***********************************

    Guest at a restaurant:
    "I refuse to eat this roastbeef. Please call the
    manager!"

    Waiter: "That's no use. He won't eat it either."

    ***********************************

    RCS Joke Post 1.0.2.2
    (c)2018-2019


    ---
    --- up 5 weeks, 2 days, 8 hours, 39 minutes
    * Origin: -=> Castle Rock BBS <=- Now Husky HPT Powered! (316:36/17)
  • From JokeMaster@316:36/17 to All on Sunday, August 23, 2020 04:15:06

    ***********************************

    Officer: Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?

    Soldier: Sure, buddy.

    Officer: That's no way to address an officer! Now
    let's try it again. Soldier, do you have
    change for a dollar?

    Soldier: No, SIR!

    ***********************************

    RCS Joke Post 1.0.2.2
    (c)2018-2019


    ---
    --- up 5 weeks, 3 days, 8 hours, 39 minutes
    * Origin: -=> Castle Rock BBS <=- Now Husky HPT Powered! (316:36/17)
  • From JokeMaster@316:36/17 to All on Monday, August 24, 2020 04:15:08

    ***********************************

    I am terrified of elevators,

    I'm going to start taking steps to avoid them.

    ***********************************

    RCS Joke Post 1.0.2.2
    (c)2018-2019


    ---
    --- up 5 weeks, 4 days, 8 hours, 39 minutes
    * Origin: -=> Castle Rock BBS <=- Now Husky HPT Powered! (316:36/17)
  • From JokeMaster@316:36/17 to All on Tuesday, August 25, 2020 04:15:10

    ***********************************

    On the first day, God created the dog and said:
    "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at
    anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I
    will give you a life span of twenty years." The
    dog said: "That's a long time to be barking. How
    about only ten years and I'll give you back the
    other ten?"

    So God agreed.

    On the second day, God created the monkey and
    said: "Entertain people, do tricks, and make them
    laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life
    span." The monkey said: "Monkey tricks for twenty
    years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How
    about I give you back ten like the Dog did?"

    And God agreed.

    On the third day, God created the cow and said:
    "You must go into the field with the farmer all
    day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and
    give milk to support the farmer's family. For this,
    I will give you a life span of sixty years." The
    cow said: "That's kind of a tough life you want me
    to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll
    give back the other forty?"

    And God agreed again.

    On the fourth day, God created man and said: "Eat,
    sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this,
    I'll give you twenty years." But man said: "Only
    twenty years? Could you possibly give me my
    twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the
    monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back;
    that makes eighty, okay?"

    "Okay," said God, "You asked for it."

    So that is why the first twenty years we eat,
    sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next
    forty years we slave in the sun to support our
    family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks
    to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last
    ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at
    everyone.

    Life has now been explained to you.

    ***********************************

    RCS Joke Post 1.0.2.2
    (c)2018-2019


    ---
    --- up 13 hours, 34 minutes
    * Origin: -=> Castle Rock BBS <=- Now Husky HPT Powered! (316:36/17)
  • From JokeMaster@316:36/17 to All on Wednesday, August 26, 2020 04:15:16

    ***********************************

    On the first day of school, the children brought
    gifts for their teacher. The florist's son brought
    the teacher a bouquet of flowers. The candy-store
    owner's daughter gave the teacher a pretty box of
    candy. Then the liquor-store owner's son brought
    up a big, heavy box. The teacher lifted it up and
    noticed that it was leaking a little bit. She
    touched a drop of the liquid with her finger and
    tasted it.

    "Is it wine?" she guessed.

    "No," the boy replied.

    She tasted another drop and asked, " Champagne ?

    "No," said the little boy... "It's a puppy!"

    ***********************************

    RCS Joke Post 1.0.2.2
    (c)2018-2019


    ---
    --- up 1 day, 13 hours, 34 minutes
    * Origin: -=> Castle Rock BBS <=- Now Husky HPT Powered! (316:36/17)
  • From JokeMaster@316:36/17 to All on Thursday, August 27, 2020 04:15:10

    ***********************************

    I'm certain there are female hormones in beer.
    When I drink too much,

    I talk nonsense and I cannot control my car.

    ***********************************

    RCS Joke Post 1.0.2.2
    (c)2018-2019


    ---
    --- up 2 days, 13 hours, 34 minutes
    * Origin: -=> Castle Rock BBS <=- Now Husky HPT Powered! (316:36/17)
  • From JokeMaster@316:36/17 to All on Friday, August 28, 2020 04:15:08

    ***********************************

    FRED: Did I ever tell you about the time I came
    face to face with a very fierce gorilla?

    BERT: No, what happened?

    FRED: Well, I stood there, without a gun . . . The
    gorilla looked at me and snarled and roared and
    beat his chest. Then it came closer and closer...

    BERT: What did you do?

    FRED: Oh, I'd had enough, so I moved on to the
    next cage.

    ***********************************

    RCS Joke Post 1.0.2.2
    (c)2018-2019


    ---
    --- up 3 days, 13 hours, 34 minutes
    * Origin: -=> Castle Rock BBS <=- Now Husky HPT Powered! (316:36/17)
  • From JokeMaster@316:36/17 to All on Saturday, August 29, 2020 04:15:20

    ***********************************

    New and Improved Names for Boring Everyday Things

    Couch = People Shelf

    Books = Manual Films

    Bracelets = Clockless Watches

    Air Horn = Spray Scream

    Bottled Water = Snowman Blood

    Feather = Bird Leaf

    ***********************************

    RCS Joke Post 1.0.2.2
    (c)2018-2019


    ---
    --- up 4 days, 13 hours, 34 minutes
    * Origin: -=> Castle Rock BBS <=- Now Husky HPT Powered! (316:36/17)
  • From JokeMaster@316:36/17 to All on Sunday, August 30, 2020 04:15:06

    ***********************************

    A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on
    his head.

    The bartender says, "What's with the paper towel?"

    The pirate says,
    "Arrr! I've got a Bounty on me head!"

    ***********************************

    RCS Joke Post 1.0.2.2
    (c)2018-2019


    ---
    --- up 5 days, 13 hours, 34 minutes
    * Origin: -=> Castle Rock BBS <=- Now Husky HPT Powered! (316:36/17)
  • From JokeMaster@316:36/17 to All on Monday, August 31, 2020 04:15:14

    ***********************************

    A woman in a bikini reveals about 90% of her body
    and yet most men are so polite they only look at
    the covered parts.

    ***********************************

    RCS Joke Post 1.0.2.2
    (c)2018-2019


    ---
    --- up 6 days, 13 hours, 34 minutes
    * Origin: -=> Castle Rock BBS <=- Now Husky HPT Powered! (316:36/17)
  • From JokeMaster@316:36/17 to All on Tuesday, September 01, 2020 04:15:10

    ***********************************

    While I was assigned to the space shuttle program,
    my job included ordering supplies. One of the
    engineers requested a new dictionary. Following
    regulations, I asked him why he needed it.

    I expected his answer to be "My old copy is lost"
    or "The cover is falling off." Instead he said,
    "My current edition defines spaceship as an
    `imaginary aircraft.'"

    He got his new dictionary.

    ***********************************

    RCS Joke Post 1.0.2.2
    (c)2018-2019


    ---
    --- up 1 week, 13 hours, 34 minutes
    * Origin: -=> Castle Rock BBS <=- Now Husky HPT Powered! (316:36/17)
  • From JokeMaster@316:36/17 to All on Wednesday, September 02, 2020 04:15:14

    ***********************************

    A guy asks his neighbor in an apartment building:
    "Mr Trepper, you live directly above me and you
    have the same 2-room apartment as I do. How many
    rolls of wallpaper did you buy when you moved in?

    "We got 18 rolls," answers the neighbor.

    Two months later the guy meets his neighbor again
    and says, "It's really funny - I put the wallpaper
    on everywhere and I still had 10 rolls left over."

    Neighbor smiles, "Yeah, so did we."

    ***********************************

    RCS Joke Post 1.0.2.2
    (c)2018-2019


    ---
    --- up 1 week, 1 day, 13 hours, 34 minutes
    * Origin: -=> Castle Rock BBS <=- Now Husky HPT Powered! (316:36/17)
  • From JokeMaster@316:36/17 to All on Thursday, September 03, 2020 04:15:08

    ***********************************

    There was a little old lady standing at a corner.
    She had both hands holding her hat on while the
    wind blew her dress up around her waist.

    A dignified southern gentleman came up and said,
    "Ma'am, you should be ashamed of yourself, letting
    your skirt blow around, being indecent, while both
    hands hold your hat."

    She said, "Look mister, everything down there is
    seventy years old; this hat is brand new!"

    ***********************************

    RCS Joke Post 1.0.2.2
    (c)2018-2019


    ---
    --- up 1 week, 2 days, 13 hours, 34 minutes
    * Origin: -=> Castle Rock BBS <=- Now Husky HPT Powered! (316:36/17)
  • From JokeMaster@316:36/17 to All on Friday, September 04, 2020 04:15:06

    ***********************************

    One of our interns asked another if she was
    planning to sign up for the company's 401(k).

    "I'm considering it," replied the second intern.

    Later, the first intern approached me looking
    concerned.

    "I did the math," she said, "and 401K is almost
    250 miles. She'll never make it!"

    ***********************************

    RCS Joke Post 1.0.2.2
    (c)2018-2019


    ---
    --- up 1 week, 3 days, 13 hours, 34 minutes
    * Origin: -=> Castle Rock BBS <=- Now Husky HPT Powered! (316:36/17)
  • From JokeMaster@316:36/17 to All on Saturday, September 05, 2020 04:15:26

    ***********************************

    A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra
    class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

    ***********************************

    RCS Joke Post 1.0.2.2
    (c)2018-2019


    ---
    --- up 1 week, 4 days, 13 hours, 34 minutes
    * Origin: -=> Castle Rock BBS <=- Now Husky HPT Powered! (316:36/17)
  • From JokeMaster@316:36/17 to All on Sunday, September 06, 2020 04:15:16

    ***********************************

    An elderly couple who were childhood sweethearts
    had married & settled down in their old
    neighborhood.

    To celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary they
    walk down to their old school. There, they hold
    hands as they find the desk they shared & where he
    had carved "I love you, Sally".

    On their way back home, a bag of money falls out
    of an armoured car practically at their feet. She
    quickly picks it up, & they don't know what to do
    with it so they take it home. There, she counts
    the money, & its fifty-thousand dollars.

    The husband says: "We've got to give it back".

    She says, "Finders keepers" & puts the money back
    in the bag & hides it up in their attic.

    The next day, two FBI men are going from door-to-
    door in the neighbourhood looking for the money
    show up at their home.

    One knocks on the door & says: "Pardon me, but did
    either of you find any money that fell out of an
    armoured car yesterday?"

    She says: "No"..

    The husband says: "She's lying. She hid it up in
    the attic."

    She says: "Don't believe him, he's getting
    senile."

    But the agents sit the man down & begin to
    question him.

    One says: "Tell us the story from the beginning."

    The old man says: "Well, when Sally & I were
    walking home from school yesterday ..."

    At this, the FBI guy looks at his partner & says:
    "We're outta here ..."

    ***********************************

    RCS Joke Post 1.0.2.2
    (c)2018-2019


    ---
    --- up 1 week, 5 days, 13 hours, 34 minutes
    * Origin: -=> Castle Rock BBS <=- Now Husky HPT Powered! (316:36/17)
  • From JokeMaster@316:36/17 to All on Monday, September 07, 2020 04:15:18

    ***********************************

    My wife was in labor with our first child when
    suddenly she began to shout, "Shouldn't,
    couldn't, wouldn't, didn't, can't!"

    "Doctor, what's wrong with my wife?" I asked.

    "Nothing," he said. "She's just having
    contractions."

    ***********************************

    RCS Joke Post 1.0.2.2
    (c)2018-2019


    ---
    --- up 1 week, 6 days, 13 hours, 34 minutes
    * Origin: -=> Castle Rock BBS <=- Now Husky HPT Powered! (316:36/17)
  • From JokeMaster@316:36/17 to All on Tuesday, September 08, 2020 04:15:14

    ***********************************

    Justice isn't just blind-it's snickering at these
    real courtroom give-and-takes:

    Judge (to young witness): Do you know what would
    happen to you if you told a lie?

    Witness: Yes. I would go to hell.

    Judge: Is that all?

    Witness: Isn't that enough?

    -

    Q: Isn't it a fact that you have been running
    around with another woman?

    A: Yes, it is, but you can't prove it!

    -

    Q: Have you ever heard about taking the Fifth?

    A: A fifth of wine?

    Q: No, the Fifth Amendment.

    -

    Q: What did your sister die of?

    A: You would have to ask her. I would be
    speculating if I told you.

    ***********************************

    RCS Joke Post 1.0.2.2
    (c)2018-2019


    ---
    --- up 2 weeks, 13 hours, 34 minutes
    * Origin: -=> Castle Rock BBS <=- Now Husky HPT Powered! (316:36/17)
  • From JokeMaster@316:36/17 to All on Wednesday, September 09, 2020 04:15:10

    ***********************************

    Why did the Romans build straight roads?

    So their soldiers didn't go around the bend!

    ***********************************

    RCS Joke Post 1.0.2.2
    (c)2018-2019


    ---
    --- up 2 weeks, 1 day, 13 hours, 34 minutes
    * Origin: -=> Castle Rock BBS <=- Now Husky HPT Powered! (316:36/17)
  • From JokeMaster@316:36/17 to All on Thursday, September 10, 2020 04:15:06

    ***********************************

    Knock! Knock!

    Who's there?

    Tank.

    Tank who?

    You're welcome!

    ***********************************

    RCS Joke Post 1.0.2.2
    (c)2018-2019


    ---
    --- up 2 weeks, 2 days, 13 hours, 34 minutes
    * Origin: -=> Castle Rock BBS <=- Now Husky HPT Powered! (316:36/17)
  • From JokeMaster@316:36/17 to All on Friday, September 11, 2020 04:15:10

    ***********************************

    Three women are about to be executed. One's a
    brunette, one's a redhead and one's a blonde. The
    guard brings the brunette forward and the
    executioner asks if she has any last requests.

    She says no and the executioner shouts, "Ready!
    Aim!" Suddenly the brunette yells, "EARTHQUAKE!!!"
    Everyone is startled and throws themselves on the
    ground while she escapes.

    The guard brings the redhead forward and the
    executioner asks if she has any last requests. She
    say no and the executioner shouts, "Ready! Aim!"
    Suddenly the redhead yells, "TORNADO!!!" Everyone
    is startled and looks around for cover while she
    escapes.

    By now the blonde has it all figured out. The
    guard brings her forward and the executioner asks
    if she has any last requests. She says no and the
    executioner shouts, "Ready! Aim!" and the blonde
    yells, "FIRE!!!"

    ***********************************

    RCS Joke Post 1.0.2.2
    (c)2018-2019


    ---
    --- up 2 weeks, 3 days, 13 hours, 34 minutes
    * Origin: -=> Castle Rock BBS <=- Now Husky HPT Powered! (316:36/17)
  • From JokeMaster@316:36/17 to All on Saturday, September 12, 2020 04:15:06

    ***********************************

    A man went to his lawyer and told him, `My
    neighbour owes me $500 and he won't pay up. What
    should I do?'

    `Do you have any proof he owes you the money?'
    asked the lawyer.

    `Nope,' replied the man.

    `OK, then write him a letter asking him for the
    $1,000 he owed you,' said the lawyer.

    `But it's only $500,' replied the man.

    `Precisely. That's what he'll reply and then
    you'll have your proof!'

    ***********************************

    RCS Joke Post 1.0.2.2
    (c)2018-2019


    ---
    --- up 2 weeks, 4 days, 13 hours, 34 minutes
    * Origin: -=> Castle Rock BBS <=- Now Husky HPT Powered! (316:36/17)
  • From JokeMaster@316:36/17 to All on Sunday, September 13, 2020 04:15:12

    ***********************************

    What did the Tin Man say when
    he got run over by a steamroller?

    "Curses! Foil again!"

    ***********************************

    RCS Joke Post 1.0.2.2
    (c)2018-2019


    ---
    --- up 2 weeks, 5 days, 13 hours, 34 minutes
    * Origin: -=> Castle Rock BBS <=- Now Husky HPT Powered! (316:36/17)
  • From JokeMaster@316:36/17 to All on Monday, September 14, 2020 04:15:06

    ***********************************

    Customer:
    "I can't seem to connect to the Internet."

    Tech Support:
    "Ah, right. What operating system are you running?"

    Customer:
    "Netscape."

    Tech Support:
    "No, what version of Windows are you using?"

    Customer:
    "Uhhh. Hewlett Packard?"

    Tech Support:
    "No, Right click on `My Computer,' and select
    properties on the menu."

    Customer:
    "Your computer? It's my computer!"

    ***********************************

    RCS Joke Post 1.0.2.2
    (c)2018-2019


    ---
    --- up 2 weeks, 6 days, 13 hours, 34 minutes
    * Origin: -=> Castle Rock BBS <=- Now Husky HPT Powered! (316:36/17)
  • From JokeMaster@316:36/17 to All on Tuesday, September 15, 2020 04:15:12

    ***********************************

    It is evening. Little Johnny and his friend are
    sitting by a camp fire.

    They've been plagued by swarms of mosquitoes
    already for an hour and the assault only worsens
    when the darkness sets in.

    Suddenly, fireflies appear. Little Johnny swears:
    "These darn mosquitoes! Now they've even brought
    lanterns with them to find us!"

    ***********************************

    RCS Joke Post 1.0.2.2
    (c)2018-2019


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    * Origin: -=> Castle Rock BBS <=- Now Husky HPT Powered! (316:36/17)
  • From JokeMaster@316:36/17 to All on Wednesday, September 16, 2020 04:15:14

    ***********************************

    The husband picks up a case of Budweiser and puts
    it in their cart.

    "What do you think you're doing?" asks the wife.

    "They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans"
    he replies.

    "Put them back, we can't afford them" demands the
    wife, and so they carry on shopping.

    A few aisles further on along the woman picks up a
    $20 jar of face cream and puts it in the basket.

    "What do you think you're doing?"asks the husband.

    "It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,"
    replies the wife.

    Her husband retorts: "So does 24 cans of Budweiser
    and it's half the price."

    ***********************************

    RCS Joke Post 1.0.2.2
    (c)2018-2019


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    * Origin: -=> Castle Rock BBS <=- Now Husky HPT Powered! (316:36/17)
  • From JokeMaster@316:36/17 to All on Thursday, September 17, 2020 04:15:46

    ***********************************

    Q: What kind of coat is always
    wet when you put it on?

    A: A coat of paint.

    ***********************************

    RCS Joke Post 1.0.2.2
    (c)2018-2019


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    * Origin: -=> Castle Rock BBS <=- Now Husky HPT Powered! (316:36/17)
  • From JokeMaster@316:36/17 to All on Friday, September 18, 2020 04:15:16

    ***********************************

    Q: When is a bad time to cross a black cat?

    A: When you are a mouse!

    ***********************************

    RCS Joke Post 1.0.2.2
    (c)2018-2019


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    * Origin: -=> Castle Rock BBS <=- Now Husky HPT Powered! (316:36/17)
  • From JokeMaster@316:36/17 to All on Saturday, September 19, 2020 04:15:08

    ***********************************

    A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is
    a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He
    has been checking her out since he sat down, but
    lacks the nerve to talk with her.

    Suddenly, she sneezes and her glass eye comes
    flying out of its socket towards the man. He
    reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air,
    and hands it back.

    "Oh my, I am so sorry," the woman says as she pops
    her eye back in place. "Let me buy your dinner to
    make it up to you," she says.

    They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and
    afterwards the theater followed by drinks. They
    talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams
    and he shares his. She listens. After paying for
    everything, she asks him if he would like to come
    to her place for a nightcap ......... and stay for
    breakfast.

    The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with
    all the trimmings. The guy is amazed!! Everything
    had been SO incredible!!!!

    "You know," he said, "you are the perfect woman.
    Are you this nice to every guy you meet?".

    "No," she replies, "You just happened to catch my
    eye."

    ***********************************

    RCS Joke Post 1.0.2.2
    (c)2018-2019


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    * Origin: -=> Castle Rock BBS <=- Now Husky HPT Powered! (316:36/17)
  • From JokeMaster@316:36/17 to All on Sunday, September 20, 2020 04:15:12

    ***********************************

    There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his
    drink. He stays like that for a half hour.

    Then a big trouble making truck driver steps next
    to him, takes the drink from the guy, & just
    drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying.

    The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just
    joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just
    can't stand to see a man cry."

    "No, it's not that," the man replies, wiping his
    tears, "This day is the worst of my life. First, I
    oversleep & I go in late to my office. My outraged
    boss fires me. When I leave the building to go to
    my car, I find out it was stolen. The police say
    they can do nothing. I get a cab to go home, &
    when I get out, I remember I left my wallet. The
    cab driver just drives away. I go inside my house
    where I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I
    leave my home, come to this bar, & just when I was
    thinking about putting an end to my life, you show
    up & drink my poison."

    ***********************************

    RCS Joke Post 1.0.2.2
    (c)2018-2019


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    * Origin: -=> Castle Rock BBS <=- Now Husky HPT Powered! (316:36/17)
  • From JokeMaster@316:36/17 to All on Monday, September 21, 2020 04:15:10

    ***********************************

    Have you heard of the band '1023MB'?

    They haven't got a gig yet.

    ***********************************

    RCS Joke Post 1.0.2.2
    (c)2018-2019


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    * Origin: -=> Castle Rock BBS <=- Now Husky HPT Powered! (316:36/17)
  • From JokeMaster@316:36/17 to All on Tuesday, September 22, 2020 04:15:12

    ***********************************

    There's a technical term for a sunny, warm day
    which follows two rainy days.

    It's called Monday.

    ***********************************

    RCS Joke Post 1.0.2.2
    (c)2018-2019


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    --- up 4 weeks, 13 hours, 34 minutes
    * Origin: -=> Castle Rock BBS <=- Now Husky HPT Powered! (316:36/17)
  • From JokeMaster@316:36/17 to All on Wednesday, September 23, 2020 04:15:12

    ***********************************

    Teacher: "If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats
    and another 2, how many would you have?"

    Johnny: "Seven."

    Teacher: "No, listen carefully... If I gave you
    two cats, and another two cats and another two,
    how many would you have?"

    Johnny: "Seven."

    Teacher: "Let me put it to you differently. If I
    gave you two apples, and another two apples and
    another two, how many would you have?"

    Johnny: "Six."

    Teacher: "Good. Now if I gave you two cats, and
    another two cats and another two, how many would
    you have?"

    Johnny: "Seven!"

    Teacher: "Johnny, where in the heck do you get
    seven from?!"

    Johnny: "Because I've already got a freaking cat!"

    ***********************************

    RCS Joke Post 1.0.2.2
    (c)2018-2019


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    * Origin: -=> Castle Rock BBS <=- Now Husky HPT Powered! (316:36/17)