* * * This message was from Rachel to All * * *
* * * and has been forwarded to you by Lord Time * * *
-----------------------------------------------

From : rai_y_day@yahoo.com.au


This is hysterical. If it had been presented this way, I don't believe any
of us would have done it!!!!


PARENT - Job Description


POSITION


Mum, Mummy, Mama, Ma

Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop



JOB DESCRIPTION

Long term, team players needed, for challenging, permanent work in an often chaotic environment.

Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills
and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and
weekends and frequent 24-hour shifts on-call.

Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites
on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities!

Travel expenses not reimbursed.

Extensive courier duties also required.



RESPONSIBILITIES

The rest of your life.

Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5.

Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.

Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go
from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams
from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.

Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small
gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets, and stuck zippers.

Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars, and coordinate production of multiple homework projects.

Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.

Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next.

Must handle assembly and product-safety- testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.

Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.

Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end
product.

Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work
throughout the facility.



POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION

None.

Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE

None required, unfortunately.

On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.


WAGES AND COMPENSATION

Get this: You pay them!

Offering frequent raises and bonuses.

A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent.

When you die, you give them whatever is left.

The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy
it and wish you could only do more.


BENEFITS

While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement,
no paid holidays, and no stock options are offered, this job supplies
limitless
opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love, and free hugs and
kisses for life, if you play your cards right.


Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, letting them know they are appreciated for the fabulous job they do... or forward with love to anyone thinking of applying
for the job.


And as a Footnote:

THERE's NO RETIREMENT ---- EVER!!


--

Sometimes you have to go out on a limb to turn over a new leaf

Don't trust his words, trust his actions.


--

--- Mystic BBS v1.07.3 (Win32)
* Origin: Quinn's Post - Maryborough, Qld, OZ (3:640/384)
■ Synchronet ■ Time Warp of the Future BBS - Home of League 10 IBBS Games