Don,

Wonder what would've happened it the priest had used Marvel's Mystery Oil???;)

Well, it's either a boy or a girl...we know that for sure. As for
anything else, all bets are off. <G>

You & I grew up with a simple, binary world:

Liftf 'em up, flip 'em over take a look!

Outie = boy
Innie = girl

Now it's well-encapsulated by this little interaction:

Bill: I hear you just gave birth?
Jill: Yup! 4 hours of labour!
Bill: Is it a boy or a girl?
Jill: How should I know? It's not old enough to tell me yet!

A moment of silence for common sense & sensibility. . .
*weeps*


<+]-{)}
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On Jun 19th 2:06 am Daryl Stout said...

John and Jean, a married couple desperately wanted children but

could

not have any. They had been married for several years, and one night about midnight they knocked on their pastor's door.

VERY funny! Made me chuckle to myself! :)

Me, too, I like the lighthearted & fictional marriage tales like this one:

After Mrs. Jacobs found out her husband was sterile, the couple decided to
hire a proxy father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Jacobs kissed his wife and said 'I'm off to work, Lydia. The guy should be here soon.'

Wouldn't you know it, a door-to-door baby photographer came by half an hour later, hoping to make a sale. Mrs. Jacobs answered the door. 'Good morning, ma'am. You don't know me, but I've come to...' 'Oh yes, I know why you're
here. Harry told me you'd be coming soon.' 'He did? But I...' 'Come right in! No use wasting time .' 'Very well, then.'

The photographer took out his briefcase and sat down. 'As you may already
know, I've made a specialty of babies.' 'Good, I'm glad,' said Mrs. Jacobs. 'That's just what Harry and I were looking for.'

'I usually like to try two in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed,' said the photographer. 'The living room floor is fun too...you can really spread out.' 'Bathtub? Living room floor? No wonder it never worked for Harry and me.' 'Well, ma'am, none of us can guarantee a perfect one every time, but if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven different angles, I think you'll be quite pleased with the results.'

'I certainly hope we can get this over with quickly,' Mrs. Jacobs gasped nervously. 'Ma'am, in my line of work a man must take his time. I'd like to
be in and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm
sure.' 'Don't I know!' said Mrs. Jacobs.

The photographer pulled out a portfolio of his pictures. 'This one was done
on top of a bus in downtown London,' he said, showing Mrs. Jacobs the
picture. 'Oh my God!' exclaimed Mrs. Jacobs, tugging on her handkerchief.

'And these twins turned out exceptionally well when you consider the fact
that their mother was so difficult to work with.' He showed Mrs. Jacobs
another picture. 'She was difficult?' questioned Mrs. Jacobs. 'Extremely,'
said the photographer. 'I finally had to take her to Hyde Park to get the job done right. People were crowding around, four and five deep, just to get a
good look.' 'Four and five deep!' Mrs. Jacobs was amazed. 'Yes,' said the photographer. 'And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling. I could hardly concentrate. Then, it started getting dark and I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels started nibbling on my equipment. I just packed it all in.'

Mrs. Jacobs leaned forward. 'You mean the squirrels actually chewed on your, um...equipment?' 'Yes, ma'am. Thank God, no real damage was done.

Well, we'll get to work as soon as I set up my tripod.'

'Tripod? ' Mrs. Jacobs looked extremely worried now.

'Of course. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much to big for
me to hold while I'm getting ready for action. Ma'am...ma'am...good God,
she's fainted!'

<+]:{)} <-- official cyberpopicon of the Bishop of ROM (Cyberpope I, me)
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George,

Well, it's either a boy or a girl...we know that for sure. As for
anything else, all bets are off. <G>

You & I grew up with a simple, binary world:

Lift 'em up, flip 'em over take a look!

Here are a few others related to that:

1) So, that explains the difference in our salaries.

2) So, I have an antenna, and you have a USB port.

3) You can't have mine!! You broke yours off!!

4) Your sister had a baby, but we don't know if it was a boy or girl,
so I don't know whether you're an aunt or an uncle.

5) A cartoon of a little boy standing on top of a little girl's head.
You just see their naked backsides, with the butt cheeks in all their
glory (we're all the same from the backside).

He says to her "Ok, we took off all our clothes, and I got on top of
you. When is it supposed to start feeling good??". To which, the girl
replies "I don't know, but I've already got a headache".

6) Sixty years ago (around 1960), this mother and her daughter were
traveling on vacation, and they always stopped at rest stops for lunch,
and for "potty breaks". Momma had taught her daughter to always look
for the longer name -- WOMEN versus MEN. Note this was long before you
had to worry about perverts and pedophiles at highway rest areas.

Well, they are at a rest stop, and the little girl has to go potty
(nature tends to call at the most inopportune time). Momma tells her
to remember what she said...but when the little girl gets to the
restroom, it's LADIES versus GENTLEMAN -- guess which one is longer??
<G>.

She walks in there, and sees a little boy, naked as a jaybird, and
she asks him what he's doing. Seeing his "member", she asks what he
has there. He tells here, and she says "Boy!! That's a handy thing
to have along at picnics!!" <G>

I would've loved to have seen Momma's face when she told her!! <BG>

Outie = boy
Innie = girl

Basically.

Now it's well-encapsulated by this little interaction:

Bill: I hear you just gave birth?
Jill: Yup! 4 hours of labour!
Bill: Is it a boy or a girl?
Jill: How should I know? It's not old enough to tell me yet!

Really.

A moment of silence for common sense & sensibility. . .
*weeps*

I think that disappeared when this thread started. <G>

Daryl

... A public restroom is where a flush beats a full house.
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.11-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (1:19/33)

George,

'Of course. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much to
big for me to hold while I'm getting ready for action. Ma'am...ma'am...good God, she's fainted!'

Smile!! You're on Candid Camera!! <G>

Daryl

... Paper Or Plastic Bag?? Doesn't Matter; I'm bi-sacksual.
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.11-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (1:19/33)

George,

Well, it's either a boy or a girl...we know that for sure. As for anything else, all bets are off. <G>

You & I grew up with a simple, binary world:

Lift 'em up, flip 'em over take a look!

Here are a few others related to that:

1) So, that explains the difference in our salaries.

2) So, I have an antenna, and you have a USB port.

3) You can't have mine!! You broke yours off!!

4) Your sister had a baby, but we don't know if it was a boy or girl,
so I don't know whether you're an aunt or an uncle.

Classics, all!

5) A cartoon of a little boy standing on top of a little girl's head.
You just see their naked backsides, with the butt cheeks in all their
glory (we're all the same from the backside).

He says to her "Ok, we took off all our clothes, and I got on top of
you. When is it supposed to start feeling good??". To which, the girl replies "I don't know, but I've already got a headache".

I have that one somewghere in my archives.

6) Sixty years ago (around 1960), this mother and her daughter were traveling on vacation, and they always stopped at rest stops for lunch,
and for "potty breaks". Momma had taught her daughter to always look
for the longer name -- WOMEN versus MEN. Note this was long before you
had to worry about perverts and pedophiles at highway rest areas.

Well, they are at a rest stop, and the little girl has to go potty
(nature tends to call at the most inopportune time). Momma tells her
to remember what she said...but when the little girl gets to the
restroom, it's LADIES versus GENTLEMAN -- guess which one is longer??
<G>.

She walks in there, and sees a little boy, naked as a jaybird, and
she asks him what he's doing. Seeing his "member", she asks what he
has there. He tells here, and she says "Boy!! That's a handy thing
to have along at picnics!!" <G>

I would've loved to have seen Momma's face when she told her!! <BG>

I don't get it. Why handy on picnics? What did he call it, his "weiner"?

Outie = boy
Innie = girl

Basically.

It worked for our generation & thousands before us. . .

Now it's well-encapsulated by this little interaction:

Bill: I hear you just gave birth?
Jill: Yup! 4 hours of labour!
Bill: Is it a boy or a girl?
Jill: How should I know? It's not old enough to tell me yet!

Really.

You'd wonder. . . It seems too plausible today for comfort. . .

A moment of silence for common sense & sensibility. . .
*weeps*

I think that disappeared when this thread started. <G>

Nah, we just acknowleged there's a rotting corpse before us & the ID in the pocket says "Common Sense & Sensibility"

Ah, yes, Thunderbolt. Now I remember -- I likely still have the dialup number on my DOS puter in the dialer I use.

Be well, my friend. . .

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.12-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

George,

Classics, all!

And, all were clean. :)

I have that one somewghere in my archives.

I've got it over here.

I don't get it. Why handy on picnics? What did he call it, his
"weiner"?

Momma probably didn't realize that there was a "longer set of
names" on the restrooms. Another one had a sign toward the restrooms,
with "MEN to the LEFT...because WOMEN are always RIGHT". <G>

Outie = boy
Innie = girl

Basically.

It worked for our generation & thousands before us. . .

Exactly.

Now it's well-encapsulated by this little interaction:

Bill: Is it a boy or a girl?
Jill: How should I know? It's not old enough to tell me yet!

Really.

You'd wonder. . . It seems too plausible today for comfort. . .

My late wife would've said "gag me a goat with a triple backhoe". <G>

I think that disappeared when this thread started. <G>

Nah, we just acknowleged there's a rotting corpse before us & the ID in the pocket says "Common Sense & Sensibility"

Exactly.

Ah, yes, Thunderbolt. Now I remember -- I likely still have the dialup number on my DOS puter in the dialer I use.

I don't have dial-up anymore...just telnet and web only.

Daryl

... The Thunderbolt BBS, Little Rock, Arkansas tbolt.synchro.net
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
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* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (1:19/33)

Daryl. . .

Momma probably didn't realize that there was a "longer set of
names" on the restrooms. Another one had a sign toward the restrooms,
with "MEN to the LEFT...because WOMEN are always RIGHT". <G>

I've got a small collection of bar signs for bathrooms, silly & punny. . .

But all JPGs, so I canm't post em here. . .

Ah, yes, Thunderbolt. Now I remember -- I likely still have the

dialup

number on my DOS puter in the dialer I use.

I don't have dial-up anymore...just telnet and web only.

Daryl

... The Thunderbolt BBS, Little Rock, Arkansas tbolt.synchro.net

I don't recall if you were Synchro then or not. . .

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.12-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

George,

I don't recall if you were Synchro then or not. . .

When I was dial-up, it was strictly GT Power. Then I changed to Virtual Advanced (VADV32) with Argus as the frontend for dial-up. But, when the
FIDONet Tosser wouldn't do messages right, and the phone line got so
expensive, I switched to Synchronet, and dropped dial-up.

Daryl

... Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody. -Mark Twain
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.11-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (1:19/33)

George,

'Of course. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much to big for me to hold while I'm getting ready for action. Ma'am...ma'am...good God, she's fainted!'

Smile!! You're on Candid Camera!! <G>

That was the lat of the funny hidden camera shows!

I loved it!

My fave was when Funt pouired the exact same cola into two glasses, & gave
the taste challenge test.

EVERY person could define the differences between the two samples & expressed
a preference. Some for Cola A, some for Cola B.

Shows to go ya how silly the Pepsi Taste Test was.

Cosby did a Coke ad; he was in a tree with binculars, says, "I'm in here
spying on the Pepsi Taste Challenge." then, "AHA! She chose Coke! That's one you won't see in their commercials. The truth is, Coke outsells Pepsi 3 to
1."

My only thought to all these Cola Wars ads was that I don't care who else drinks what; I drink the one I like best. A simple check in any store or gas station selling both toldme everuything I needed t know about sales rates.

Coke always had noticeably more facings (how many cans or bottles you can see at the frot of their space.) than Pepsi (still does)

Well, I'd best be adding in some funny content to stay on topic:

Obpuns:

On a theme:

I was hit by some coca cola today...
...it didn't hurt because it was a soft drink.

Q: What's a pirates favorite cola?
A: RC!

TIL that cola syrup is made by squeezing a kola nut.
That was soda pressing.

Hey Google! Translate ô┐Como estas frijole Coca Cola?ö into English.
Google: Ok... But youÆre not gonna like it...

ôHowya bean pop?ö

Did you hear about the ghost that was arrested for inhabiting a bottle of
cola?
He was done for possession of coke.

A guy came into the bar to order a glass of Coca-Cola's first diet drink, saying to put it on his bill.
He had a Tab.

I heard coca-cola and bud light are working together on a new drink.
It's quite the ambitious colabeeration

A coca cola candy cane... it's a Cocane

A bear walks into a bar and says äGive me a whiskey and... cola.ô
Bartender: äWhy the big pause?ô Bear: äIæm not sure... I was born with them.ô

Q: What does Diet Coke call Coca Cola after adoption?
A: Soda Pop

Q: What state is home to the smallest Coca Cola factory?
A: Mini-Soda

Spent all day rinsing several palates of damaged Coca-Cola cans at the food bank today. The stuff at the bottom was ... gross. At home mom asked what we did.
We sorted sorta sordid sodas.

Q: Is the President of Coca-cola a Coke Head ?
a) Yes b) Of course, c) HELL yes! d) Decline to answer


Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.12-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

George,

I don't recall if you were Synchro then or not. . .

When I was dial-up, it was strictly GT Power. Then I changed to Virtual Advanced (VADV32) with Argus as the frontend for dial-up. But, when the FIDONet Tosser wouldn't do messages right, and the phone line got so expensive, I switched to Synchronet, and dropped dial-up.

I think I called in wh9ile you were VAD & Argus. . .

Many moons ago. . .

Obpunnies:

The internet connection in my farm is really sketchy, so I moved the modem to the barn.
Now I have stable wifi.

I'm really looking forward to the new Hacking Twist in Call of Duty!
They call it Modem Warfare!

My stepdaughter needed the WiFi password for her friend. I didn't hear back after I replied.
http://www.imgur.com/yr1AUu2.png

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.12-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

George,

I think I called in wh9ile you were VADV & Argus. . .

Probably so.

Many moons ago. . .

That it was.

Obpunnies:

The internet connection in my farm is really sketchy, so I moved the
modem to the barn.
Now I have stable wifi.

You had to moove the connectivity.

I'm really looking forward to the new Hacking Twist in Call of Duty!
They call it Modem Warfare!

Modem cables at 300 baud. <G>

Daryl

... I don't drink and drive, but I swig at stoplights.
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.11-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (1:19/33)

George,

Shows to go ya how silly the Pepsi Taste Test was.

When they were doing the Pepsi Challenge at the local college 40 years ago, they HATED to see me coming. Even if they gave me crackers between samples,
I would ALWAYS pick Coca-Cola...because I could tell by the sweetness that
the one that had more of it, was Pepsi.

Coke always had noticeably more facings (how many cans or bottles you
can see at the frot of their space.) than Pepsi (still does)

One of the paint schemes on the Amtrak locomotives got them the name
"Pepsi Cans".

I was hit by some coca cola today...
...it didn't hurt because it was a soft drink.

If it had been draft beer, you could've dodged it.

Q: What's a pirates favorite cola?
A: RC!

I haven't seen that or Nehi around in ages...I particularly liked their
peach soda.

TIL that cola syrup is made by squeezing a kola nut.
That was soda pressing.

And messy, too.

Hey Google! Translate ô┐Como estas frijole Coca Cola?ö into English. Google: Ok... But youÆre not gonna like it...

Some help you are!!

Did you hear about the ghost that was arrested for inhabiting a bottle
of cola?
He was done for possession of coke.

That's scary.

A guy came into the bar to order a glass of Coca-Cola's first diet
drink, saying to put it on his bill.
He had a Tab.

I hear that stuff is nasty.

I heard coca-cola and bud light are working together on a new drink.
It's quite the ambitious colabeeration

I'll say.

A coca cola candy cane... it's a Cocane

Coca-Cola originally had cocaine in it.

A bear walks into a bar and says "Give me a whiskey and... cola." Bartender: "Why the big pause?" Bear: "Iæm not sure... I was born with them."

It took me a minute to finger that one out.

Q: What does Diet Coke call Coca Cola after adoption?
A: Soda Pop

Basically.

Q: What state is home to the smallest Coca Cola factory?
A: Mini-Soda

And, you can get deals in Pensa-Cola.

Spent all day rinsing several palates of damaged Coca-Cola cans at the food bank today. The stuff at the bottom was ... gross. At home mom
asked what we did.
We sorted sorta sordid sodas.

Say that 5 times fast.

Q: Is the President of Coca-cola a Coke Head ?
a) Yes b) Of course, c) HELL yes! d) Decline to answer

None of the above??

Daryl

... I'm an objective person -- I object to everything.
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.11-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (1:19/33)

I'm really looking forward to the new Hacking Twist in Call of Duty! They call it Modem Warfare!

Modem cables at 300 baud. <G>

I've dialed up internet using 300 (once!)

... I don't drink and drive, but I swig at stoplights.

A swig & a miss. . .

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.12-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

George,

Shows to go ya how silly the Pepsi Taste Test was.

When they were doing the Pepsi Challenge at the local college 40 years ago, they HATED to see me coming. Even if they gave me crackers between samples,
I would ALWAYS pick Coca-Cola...because I could tell by the sweetness that the one that had more of it, was Pepsi.

I only saw the Taste Test once, at our annual Exhibition. It was set up to imply "get it right & win a prize"(i.e. pick Pepsi & spin the prize wheel for
a $0.0003 doodad or a "Buy 20, get onehalf off" coupon.

I took a sip of the first glass (Blech! Poopsi!), then ate the crackers (I asked for extra! *LOL* then drank the second glass (ahh, that cleared the
taste up nicely, clearly Coke); looking sat the prize wheel, wit my eye on
one of them, I pointed to the first glass & said "that one" (I never said it was best, just that it was the one with the slogans all over the booth); spun wheel, won bupkes. . .

Now I just skip them if I see the booths,as I don't want to subject my poor taste buds to such yichk.

I was hit by some coca cola today...
...it didn't hurt because it was a soft drink.

If it had been draft beer, you could've dodged it.

Not in Canada - no draft as far back as I recall.

A guy came into the bar to order a glass of Coca-Cola's first diet drink, saying to put it on his bill.
He had a Tab.

I hear that stuff is nasty.

I bet. I've tried the newer diet concoctions (only when no real Coke in cooler, obvi) & NASTY!!!

Aspartame leaves a horrid after taste. . . & it's poison (a neurotoxin used illegally for brainwashing)

A coca cola candy cane... it's a Cocane

Coca-Cola originally had cocaine in it.

Yup,ended before my time, in 1951.

They have Cherry Coke, Lime Coke, Peach Coke. . .

Hey, Coca Cola, if you MUST add stuff to your drink, how about putting the cocaine back into it!

Spent all day rinsing several palates of damaged Coca-Cola cans at

the

food bank today. The stuff at the bottom was ... gross. At home mom asked what we did.
We sorted sorta sordid sodas.

Say that 5 times fast.

That, that, that, that, that.

Why?

Q: Is the President of Coca-cola a Coke Head ?
a) Yes b) Of course, c) HELL yes! d) Decline to answer

None of the above??

That would be rounded off to "D" ;)

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.12-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)