(a) The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than

the

British or Americans.

(b) On the other hand, the French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

(c) The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

(d) The Italians drink lots of red wine and also suffer fewer heart

attacks

than the British or Americans.

Conclusion: Eat and drink what you like. It's speaking English that kills you.

Received from Pastor Tim.
--- SBBSecho 3.13-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (1:19/33)

Here's one back, for you & Pastor Tim:

An 85 year old couple is going on holiday, when they suddenly die in a plane crash...
Long
They had been married for 60 years, and kept in good health due to their healthy diet and regular exercise.

When they reached heaven, St. Peter took them to their mansion, decked out
with a fully stocked kitchen, master bath suite, and their very own jacuzzi.
As his wife 'oohed' and 'aahed' at their new possessions, the old man asked Peter how much all of this was going to cost. "It's all free," Peter replied. "We are in heaven, after all."

Next they surveyed the lush championship golf course behind their home, where they were entitled to play everyday.

Of course, all the old man wanted to know, was: "How much are the green
fees?"

"It's free!" came the reply.

Next, they went to the club house, and saw the lavish buffet on offer, with
all of the world's different cuisines on offer, every meal cooked to perfection.

"How much do we have to pay for two?" asked the old man.

"Don't you understand, yet?!" Peter replied, exasperated. "It's all free, you're in heaven!"

"Well, where are the low fat and cholesterol tables then? The food won't have too many calories, will it?" the old man asked, looking quite worried.

"That's the best part of heaven," Saint Peter said, excitedly. "You can eat
as much of whatever you want, and you won't gain a single gram!"

With that, the old man went into a fit of anger, throwing down his hat and stomping on it wildly. His wife and Peter tried to calm him down, asking what was wrong.

The old man looked at his wife. "This is all your fault!" he screamed! "If it weren't for you and your blasted bran muffins, I could have been here ten
years ago!"

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

George,

The old man looked at his wife. "This is all your fault!" he screamed!
"If it weren't for you and your blasted bran muffins, I could have been here ten years ago!"

Reminds me of the joke where St. Peter told this huge group of men that
he wanted them to separate into 2 groups.

The henpecked husbands were to go to the left, and the husbands who
were truly "the head of the house", were to go to the right.

The entire line shifted to the left...except for one frail elderly man.

Amazed, St. Peter asked the old man what his secret was.

He replied "My wife told me to stand over here". <G>

Daryl

... All recipes require one extra trip to the store.
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.13-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (1:19/33)

George,

The old man looked at his wife. "This is all your fault!" he

screamed!

"If it weren't for you and your blasted bran muffins, I could have

been

here ten years ago!"

Reminds me of the joke where St. Peter told this huge group of men that
he wanted them to separate into 2 groups.

The henpecked husbands were to go to the left, and the husbands who
were truly "the head of the house", were to go to the right.

The entire line shifted to the left...except for one frail elderly man.

Amazed, St. Peter asked the old man what his secret was.

He replied "My wife told me to stand over here". <G>

Q: Why do huysbands typically die before wives?
A: They WANT TO!

Q: Why is divorce so expensive?
A: It's WORTH it!

Jokes, of course, hopefully. . . *checks behind* *sneaks away from computer*

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

George,

Q: Why do huysbands typically die before wives?
A: They WANT TO!

Yes, dear. Yes, dear. Yes, dear. No, dear. <LOUD SLAP!> I mean Yes, dear. <G>

Q: Why is divorce so expensive?
A: It's WORTH it!

The lawyers say "May Divorce Be With You". Or the one where the woman said "You've
heard his side of the story...now, here's mine"...yet, she did all the talking. :P

Jokes, of course, hopefully. . . *checks behind* *sneaks away from computer*

Better slither off quickly in serpentine fashion.

Looking back at all I've been through over the years, no wonder I didn't
arry
until I was 43...but never dreamed I'd be a widower at 47.

Daryl

... Free the Indianapolis 500.
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.13-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (1:19/33)

Looking back at all I've been through over the years, no wonder I didn't arry
until I was 43...but never dreamed I'd be a widower at 47.

For real?! Ouch! :(

I married at 42 (late enough); first time dad at 44. . . It's a young man's game, but I'm surviving it. . . :)

Jeeze what kind of topical content can follow this?

Maybe some guest jokers?

Quotes on parenting:

ôParenthood is a journey except it's just traveling from room to room putting away the same toys all day long.ö ù@OneFunnyMummy

ôParenting is mostly just informing kids how many more minutes they have of something.ö ù@yoyoha

ôYou know you're a parent when you've washed yourself with baby wipes to save time in the morning.ö ùAnonymous

ôI asked my mom if I was adopted. She said, æNot yet, but we placed an ad.Æ" ùDana Snow

ôDriving around at 3am with soft music on the radio isn't normal, but as a parent it is.ö ù@Batman1285

ôMy favorite part of parenting is after I drop my kids off at school. IÆm kidding. ItÆs after they go to bed.ö ù@CallMeDraper

ôHaving children is like living in a frat house ù nobody sleeps, everything's broken, and there's a lot of throwing up.ö ùRay Romano

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

George,

until I was 43...but never dreamed I'd be a widower at 47.

For real?! Ouch! :(

Yep...and I never remarried. But, I'm glad my parents and wife are gone
now, so they wouldn't see me suffer.

I married at 42 (late enough); first time dad at 44. . . It's a young man's game, but I'm surviving it. . . :)

Getting married should scare the crap out of a man. It did me, literally...
I had IBS the morning before we went to my wife's church to the ceremony. Her church had a potluck every other Sunday, and that's when we got married. We walked in, and were greeted with "Ah!! The Bride And Groom!!"...to which, I said, "We're not married yet". <G>

I want to backtrack a little though...to the bridal shower a month before.
My fiance' (I used to think it was pronounced "finance-ee". <G>) wanted everyone there...not just the ladies.

The funniest part was where they were giving the new couple to be, advice; but no one would sign their names. Here are the top 3:

3) "Janice shouldn't be the only one with dish pan hands".

After working at Burger King for 5 years over 40 years ago, I was no
stranger to doing dishes, taking out trash, etc. I've had to do such since
her death...and have no sympathy for husbands who say "housework is for the woman".

2) "Daryl...pray for the Second Coming (of The Lord Jesus Christ). Jan...
pray that it is soon". <G>

I had thought of myself as a Life Member of BTR (Bachelor 'Til Rapture);
but The Good Lord made a liar out of me on that...and I got voted out. <G>

1) "Violets are Purple. Roses are Red. When Daryl is blue...Jan, head for
the bed".

The preacher's wife (a natural blonde, but smarter than one), and
myself, turned the color of a tomato. I uttered the S word in an
expletive as I put my head down on the table. No one heard it, as
the entire room had erupted into raucous laughter. Janice said "Oh!!
He's turning a much brighter shade of pink than he normally does!!".
I was *NEVER* so embarrassed in all my life!!

But, at the wedding, I was so nervous, that I put her engagement
ring (that we got for $25 at a Going Out Of Business Sale from an
area K-Mart store (I think all of them are gone now)...her wedding
ring...and my wedding ring, all on her finger.

I'm about to blurt out "Where the Hell is the other one??!!"
The Good Lord is so wise..the preacher gently admonished (and
everyone heard it) "You're not supposed to put all the rings
on her finger!!". As I let out "Oops...I'm a little nervous!!",
the entire group roared in laughter.

But, when I sang "The Vows Go Unbroken" by the late Kenny
Rogers (aka "The Gambler"), there wasn't a dry eye in the house.
To this day, nearly 18 years later, I still can't look at the
wedding video without crying like a baby.

Afterwards, my new wife and I were changing out of our
wedding duds (before the ceremony, as the potluck was ending,
the preacher said "I've got to go put my marrying clothes on"),
and it was taking a bit to switch out. We were in a small room,
and for obvious reasons, had closed and locked the door. The
guy who was my best man (he died 5 months after my wife died...
she had a heart attack, he had cancer), knocked on the door,
and asked "What are you doing in there??". I wish I would've had
my wits about me...I would've replied "Playing Strip Poker". <G>

Maybe some guest jokers?

So the one from Batman is on lunch break?? <G>

Quotes on parenting:

ôParenthood is a journey except it's just traveling from room to room putting away the same toys all day long.ö ù@OneFunnyMummy

Or wrap up the toys they haven't touched in awhile, and give
them as Christmas presents (one parent did this, and the kids
thought they were new...but they had forgotten they hadn't played
with them in a long time).

ôParenting is mostly just informing kids how many more minutes they
have of something.ö ù@yoyoha

And, the clock is ticking. <G>

ôYou know you're a parent when you've washed yourself with baby wipes
to save time in the morning.ö ùAnonymous

That's for sure!!

ôI asked my mom if I was adopted. She said, æNot yet, but we placed an ad.Æ" ùDana Snow

<ZING!!>

ôDriving around at 3am with soft music on the radio isn't normal, but
as a parent it is.ö ù@Batman1285

Kids are like kitties...it's play time at 3am.

ôMy favorite part of parenting is after I drop my kids off at school.
IÆm kidding. ItÆs after they go to bed.ö ù@CallMeDraper

As one commercial noted "Until they relax, I can't relax".

ôHaving children is like living in a frat house ù nobody sleeps, everything's broken, and there's a lot of throwing up.ö ùRay Romano

Basically.

Daryl

... Well, to be frank, I'd have to change my name.
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (1:19/33)

George,

until I was 43...but never dreamed I'd be a widower at 47.

For real?! Ouch! :(

Yep...and I never remarried. But, I'm glad my parents and wife are gone now, so they wouldn't see me suffer.

Hold off on the suffering. You haven't been made acquaintance with the Holy Spirit so you can be miserable! ;)

"Rejoice in the Lord always, & again I say: Rejoice" (I interpret that to
mean to eat dessert first, second, third, etc.)

It's a good deed to eat all the desserts at a pot luck (otherwise the bakers feel insulted)

I married at 42 (late enough); first time dad at 44. . . It's a young man's game, but I'm surviving it. . . :)

Getting married should scare the crap out of a man. It did me, literally...
I had IBS the morning before we went to my wife's church to the ceremony.

*LOL* Did you bring your own "music" to the ceremony? Tooting out "Here
comes the bride," maybe?

Her church had a potluck every other Sunday, and that's when we got

married.

We walked in, and were greeted with "Ah!! The Bride And Groom!!"...to

which,

I said, "We're not married yet". <G>

Close enough; you're bride & groom until married then you're husband & wife.

I want to backtrack a little though...to the bridal shower a month

before.

My fiance' (I used to think it was pronounced "finance-ee". <G>) wanted everyone there...not just the ladies.

If your fiancΘe pronounces it as financer, run. . .

The funniest part was where they were giving the new couple to be,

advice;

but no one would sign their names. Here are the top 3:

3) "Janice shouldn't be the only one with dish pan hands".

After working at Burger King for 5 years over 40 years ago, I was no stranger to doing dishes, taking out trash, etc. I've had to do such since her death...and have no sympathy for husbands who say "housework is for

the

woman".

It's so wrong. I did my share of dishes, back when I had both hands working.

With my first GF (live-in) we negotiated chores; I cooked, she cleaned up.

Now, my wife hates shopping (as did I, so I gave her that I'd do the shopping as a bonus wedding gift); I buy it, she cooks it.

2) "Daryl...pray for the Second Coming (of The Lord Jesus Christ). Jan... pray that it is soon". <G>

I had thought of myself as a Life Member of BTR (Bachelor 'Til Rapture); but The Good Lord made a liar out of me on that...and I got voted out. <G>

Seems like this one was a mite cynical.

1) "Violets are Purple. Roses are Red. When Daryl is blue...Jan, head for the bed".

The preacher's wife (a natural blonde, but smarter than one), and
myself, turned the color of a tomato. I uttered the S word in an
expletive as I put my head down on the table. No one heard it, as
the entire room had erupted into raucous laughter. Janice said "Oh!!
He's turning a much brighter shade of pink than he normally does!!".
I was *NEVER* so embarrassed in all my life!!

Aww -- this is what makes indelible memories.

But, at the wedding, I was so nervous, that I put her engagement
ring (that we got for $25 at a Going Out Of Business Sale from an
area K-Mart store (I think all of them are gone now)...her wedding ring...and my wedding ring, all on her finger.

My BIL married my sister with "take to be my awfully wedded wife"(nervous); luckily the ceremony was caught on video. . .

I'm about to blurt out "Where the Hell is the other one??!!"
The Good Lord is so wise..the preacher gently admonished (and
everyone heard it) "You're not supposed to put all the rings
on her finger!!". As I let out "Oops...I'm a little nervous!!",
the entire group roared in laughter.

A happy day for all!

But, when I sang "The Vows Go Unbroken" by the late Kenny
Rogers (aka "The Gambler"), there wasn't a dry eye in the house.
To this day, nearly 18 years later, I still can't look at the
wedding video without crying like a baby.

Nothing wrong with that -- it means you felt & felt sincerely. It's a
treasure.

Afterwards, my new wife and I were changing out of our
wedding duds (before the ceremony, as the potluck was ending,
the preacher said "I've got to go put my marrying clothes on"),
and it was taking a bit to switch out. We were in a small room,
and for obvious reasons, had closed and locked the door. The
guy who was my best man (he died 5 months after my wife died...
she had a heart attack, he had cancer), knocked on the door,
and asked "What are you doing in there??". I wish I would've had
my wits about me...I would've replied "Playing Strip Poker". <G>

Why not, right? In the Jewish tradition marriage is consummated not by a
bloody sheet hung out the window, but by the bride & groom going in to a
small room in seclusion together for a half hour or so -- to "eat a small
meal together, privately"

Yup, people assume what they wish to. . .

Maybe some guest jokers?

So the one from Batman is on lunch break?? <G>

He died, didn't he?

Quotes on parenting:

ôParenthood is a journey except it's just traveling from room to room putting away the same toys all day long.ö ù@OneFunnyMummy

Or wrap up the toys they haven't touched in awhile, and give
them as Christmas presents (one parent did this, and the kids
thought they were new...but they had forgotten they hadn't played
with them in a long time).

That's a good one, but check they're still the right age for it. . .

ôParenting is mostly just informing kids how many more minutes they have of something.ö ù@yoyoha

And, the clock is ticking. <G>

To ground your kid, don'ty take away their devices -- take away their
chargers, so they get to slowly watch the batteries get lower & lower. . .

ôYou know you're a parent when you've washed yourself with baby wipes to save time in the morning.ö ùAnonymous

That's for sure!!

So convenient!

ôI asked my mom if I was adopted. She said, æNot yet, but we placed

an

ad.Æ" ùDana Snow

<ZING!!>

I've been thinking about adoption lately, but nobody wants to take a 12yo boy who eats like a Sumo wrestler!

ôDriving around at 3am with soft music on the radio isn't normal, but as a parent it is.ö ù@Batman1285

Kids are like kitties...it's play time at 3am.

& the smooth motio of the car helps get those wee bairs a-snoozing. I used
to just walk around for hours with the kid in my arms (as a teen babysitting for the neighbourhood single moms)

ôMy favorite part of parenting is after I drop my kids off at school. IÆm kidding. ItÆs after they go to bed.ö ù@CallMeDraper

As one commercial noted "Until they relax, I can't relax".

My wife & I sing the Staples Xmas ad jingle in September: "It's the most wonderful time of the year. . ."

ôHaving children is like living in a frat house ù nobody sleeps, everything's broken, and there's a lot of throwing up.ö ùRay Romano

Basically.

You know, eh? How many kids do you have?

... Well, to be frank, I'd have to change my name.

I got a wrong number(she sounded cute) called in once asking for Heather, I said, "I can be Heather for ya; how long do you need me for?"

She laughed & said, "sorry, wrong number."

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

George,

Hold off on the suffering. You haven't been made acquaintance with the Holy Spirit so you can be miserable! ;)

Well, I got a surprise yesterday...apparently, there was an overpayment
to the hospice care for my late Mom. But, that money will either go into savings, or to pay for the plumbing repair, or the taxes. It basically
covers the repair cost on the car. I have no idea when the contractor
will finish up redoing both bathrooms. But, I decided to postpone the colonoscopy...and will get my first of 2 COVID-19 shots on Friday...then
the second one just days before the 14th anniversary of my wife's death.

"Rejoice in the Lord always, & again I say: Rejoice" (I interpret that
to mean to eat dessert first, second, third, etc.)

Stressed spelled backwards is DESSERTS. <G> But, I have to avoid the rich food.

It's a good deed to eat all the desserts at a pot luck (otherwise the bakers feel insulted)

It depends on what it is...I can't tolerate cheesecake anymore.

I had IBS the morning before we went to my wife's church to the ceremony.

*LOL* Did you bring your own "music" to the ceremony? Tooting out
"Here comes the bride," maybe?

Not hardly. At the reception, one little kid drank too much of the
sparkling chilled grape juice, and he let out this hellacious belch!!
His grandma asked him "What do you say??", and he sheepishly said
"Excuse me". Everyone was roaring in laughter. The beverage I've liked
was Hi-C fruit punch and Ginger Ale. :)

Years ago, my brother and I would swig a 12 ounce bottle of Doctor
Pepper in one swig...and see who could let out the raunchiest belch.

She would always "excuse herself" beforehand...but our dachshund
beat us with the methane bombs he dropped. After one of us let one
go, it was like "that was a full grown adult yipe, and it wasn't on disability". <G>

One day, we were intimately occupied on the Futon, and the dachshund
was in his bed next to us. All of a sudden, this horrible stench
permeated our nostrils...the dog had dropped a methane bomb fart!!

I started gagging, and my wife was laughing, saying "You know he's
down there, going 'Hee!! Hee!! Hee!! Ignore my @$$, will you??!!".

Any "lovemaking" went right out the window...I had to get dressed
and take the stinker (pun intended) out for a walk. :P

I said, "We're not married yet". <G>

Close enough; you're bride & groom until married then you're husband & wife.

This is true. It reminds me of where the groom was so nervous at the
altar that he asked the minister "Is it kisstomary to cuss the bride??!!".
The preacher replied "Not yet...but soon". <G>

If your fiancΘe pronounces it as financer, run. . .

That's what my first fiancee' was. She wanted me to always take her
to the most expensive place, always pick up the tab, and forsake ALL
hobbies, etc. outside of work, and spend every waking moment with her. Basically, she was going to do all the taking, and I was to do all the
giving. That does NOT work in a relationship...I broke that off before
we tied the knot. And, she accused me of "using her"...go figure.

When Janice and I were looking for things like invitations, etc.,
there was a deal on there with "Daryl and Pamela" (that was the name
of my first fiancee'). Janice was chuckling, while I lamented "I think
I'm going to puke". :P

Yet, Janice wanted to be part of my hobbies (we met on a local area BBS)...and she didn't care whether we ate at McDonald's or The Olive Garden...FOOD WAS FOOD.

It's so wrong. I did my share of dishes, back when I had both hands working.

And, with living alone, I use so few dishes (most are disposable,
including the silverware), so that means no dishes to wash. I think of
the joke where this woman tells her lady friend about a special pre-wash
of the dirty dishes. Confused, her friend asked for an explanation, and
the woman shouts out two words...and two dogs bound into the kitchen.
She sets the dirty dishes on the floor, and the dogs start their pre-wash routine. The other woman fainted dead away. <G>

Now, my wife hates shopping (as did I, so I gave her that I'd do the shopping as a bonus wedding gift); I buy it, she cooks it.

Not a bad trade off.

I had thought of myself as a Life Member of BTR (Bachelor 'Til Rapture); but The Good Lord made a liar out of me on that...and I got voted out. <G>

Seems like this one was a mite cynical.

What's funny is that I couldn't see any need to marry before I met the
woman who'd be my wife. Now, 14 years a widower, some days, it gets awfully lonely. But, nowadays, so many have "too much baggage" to deal with...and I don't want or need all that "drama". The "drama" I preferred was in theatre arts in high school and college. Long before I started dating Janice, this
one girl in the Sunday School lamented "Lord, if you don't give me a man,
I'm gonna die!!"...and that turned me off. I've known several women like that...who basically want kids (and sex) so bad, they can taste it. Sex is
not the be all and end all of marriage...it's a fringe benefit.

I was *NEVER* so embarrassed in all my life!!

Aww -- this is what makes indelible memories.

I could feel myself blushing. :P

My BIL married my sister with "take to be my awfully wedded wife"(nervous); luckily the ceremony was caught on video. . .

LOL. I nearly had another "boner moment"...I nearly said "With
this ring, I thee bed". <G>

the entire group roared in laughter.

A happy day for all!

Her parents and her grandmother had come up from Florida for the
wedding. Janice was in the back getting dressed, and her Dad asked
where she was. When I told him where she was, he quipped "I thought
she had coppered out". He then asked me for "one last kiss from her
before we got married". I replied "While she'll be my wife...first
and foremost, she's your daughter".

To this day, nearly 18 years later, I still can't look at the
wedding video without crying like a baby.

Nothing wrong with that -- it means you felt & felt sincerely. It's a treasure.

I do have a ton of wonderful memories that no one can take away.
We met on a BBS run by a local college, and as they say, "the rest
is history"...we truly were "Married With Modem Sysops".

and asked "What are you doing in there??". I wish I would've had
my wits about me...I would've replied "Playing Strip Poker". <G>

Why not, right? In the Jewish tradition marriage is consummated not by
a bloody sheet hung out the window, but by the bride & groom going in
to a small room in seclusion together for a half hour or so -- to "eat
a small meal together, privately".

That's part of consuming, isn't it?? <G>

Yup, people assume what they wish to. . .

You know what they about assume...

So the one from Batman is on lunch break?? <G>

He died, didn't he?

I want to say it was Caesar Romero...I think all the characters from
the original TV series are dead and gone now. The one who played Robin,
I think now advertises a special line of dog food.

Or wrap up the toys they haven't touched in awhile, and give
them as Christmas presents (one parent did this, and the kids
thought they were new...but they had forgotten they hadn't played
with them in a long time).

That's a good one, but check they're still the right age for it. . .

At least it's not like the blonde who brings a crap filled diaper, saying
"it was good up to 20 pounds". :P

To ground your kid, don'ty take away their devices -- take away their chargers, so they get to slowly watch the batteries get lower & lower.
. .

No pressure. Or change the way to unlock the phone (i.e. the PIN).

I've been thinking about adoption lately, but nobody wants to take a
12yo boy who eats like a Sumo wrestler!

He's growing...in more ways than one.

& the smooth motio of the car helps get those wee bairs a-snoozing. I used to just walk around for hours with the kid in my arms (as a teen babysitting for the neighbourhood single moms)

Nowadays, most kids wouldn't think of doing such.

My wife & I sing the Staples Xmas ad jingle in September: "It's the
most wonderful time of the year. . ."

Yep, when they go back to school.

You know, eh? How many kids do you have?

None...but that's from what I've read and heard. After having chicken
pox that went into encephalitis (I was in the hospital for a week, and quarantined from college and work for 2 months)...then working around
and absorbing nasty solvents in silkscreen printing...as my late wife so eloquently put it, "they wouldn't spay me...so he volunteered to get
neutered".

I got a wrong number(she sounded cute) called in once asking for
Heather, I said, "I can be Heather for ya; how long do you need me
for?"

She laughed & said, "sorry, wrong number."

At least it got a smile out of her.

Daryl

... Can you tell me when my past due amount is due??
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (1:19/33)

George,

Hold off on the suffering. You haven't been made acquaintance with

the

Holy Spirit so you can be miserable! ;)

Well, I got a surprise yesterday...apparently, there was an overpayment
to the hospice care for my late Mom. But, that money will either go into savings, or to pay for the plumbing repair, or the taxes. It basically covers the repair cost on the car. I have no idea when the contractor
will finish up redoing both bathrooms. But, I decided to postpone the colonoscopy...and will get my first of 2 COVID-19 shots on Friday...then
the second one just days before the 14th anniversary of my wife's death.

That's so adult & responsible. You know the tv ads/corporations want you to
go wild & impulse buy/splurge, right?

Oh well, I guess you were also raised to understand you don't work for tyhem, eh?

"Rejoice in the Lord always, & again I say: Rejoice" (I interpret

that

to mean to eat dessert first, second, third, etc.)

Stressed spelled backwards is DESSERTS. <G> But, I have to avoid the

rich

food.

Moderation in all things [I add, "including(or especially) moderation)"]

Some things my moderatoin level is zero. (e.g. tobacco -- 18 years under that devil on my baxck was plenty -- I was freed, PTL, & I'm not going back!)

It's a good deed to eat all the desserts at a pot luck (otherwise the bakers feel insulted)

It depends on what it is...I can't tolerate cheesecake anymore.

How come? I love cheesecake; a friend dropped me off a duble height one when
I was 20, expecting it'd last me a while; I returned her pan the next day!)

I had IBS the morning before we went to my wife's church to the

ceremony.

*LOL* Did you bring your own "music" to the ceremony? Tooting out "Here comes the bride," maybe?

Not hardly. At the reception, one little kid drank too much of the sparkling chilled grape juice, and he let out this hellacious belch!!
His grandma asked him "What do you say??", and he sheepishly said
"Excuse me". Everyone was roaring in laughter. The beverage I've liked
was Hi-C fruit punch and Ginger Ale. :)

I use sparkling spring water for punches, so there's no added flavour(not
even the soda water component) to change the base punch/juice flavour. I buy the 2L spring water for $99 usually. (Ginger Ale same, unless name brand
name, then it's $2.35 for 500ml!)

I rarely drink pop -- the occasional Coke just for the caffeine.

I used to drink about 2 ounces of root beer a year & that was the only pop I drank! Now, with work & family. . . *sigh* (permatired)

Years ago, my brother and I would swig a 12 ounce bottle of Doctor
Pepper in one swig...and see who could let out the raunchiest belch.

She would always "excuse herself" beforehand...but our dachshund
beat us with the methane bombs he dropped. After one of us let one
go, it was like "that was a full grown adult yipe, and it wasn't on disability". <G>

One day, we were intimately occupied on the Futon, and the dachshund
was in his bed next to us. All of a sudden, this horrible stench
permeated our nostrils...the dog had dropped a methane bomb fart!!

I started gagging, and my wife was laughing, saying "You know he's
down there, going 'Hee!! Hee!! Hee!! Ignore my @$$, will you??!!".

Any "lovemaking" went right out the window...I had to get dressed
and take the stinker (pun intended) out for a walk. :P

I said, "We're not married yet". <G>

Close enough; you're bride & groom until married then you're husband

&

wife.

This is true. It reminds me of where the groom was so nervous at the
altar that he asked the minister "Is it kisstomary to cuss the bride??!!". The preacher replied "Not yet...but soon". <G>

If your fiancΘe pronounces it as financer, run. . .

That's what my first fiancee' was. She wanted me to always take her
to the most expensive place, always pick up the tab, and forsake ALL hobbies, etc. outside of work, and spend every waking moment with her. Basically, she was going to do all the taking, and I was to do all the giving. That does NOT work in a relationship...I broke that off before
we tied the knot. And, she accused me of "using her"...go figure.

When Janice and I were looking for things like invitations, etc.,
there was a deal on there with "Daryl and Pamela" (that was the name
of my first fiancee'). Janice was chuckling, while I lamented "I think
I'm going to puke". :P

Yet, Janice wanted to be part of my hobbies (we met on a local area BBS)...and she didn't care whether we ate at McDonald's or The Olive Garden...FOOD WAS FOOD.

It's so wrong. I did my share of dishes, back when I had both hands working.

And, with living alone, I use so few dishes (most are disposable, including the silverware), so that means no dishes to wash. I think of
the joke where this woman tells her lady friend about a special pre-wash
of the dirty dishes. Confused, her friend asked for an explanation, and
the woman shouts out two words...and two dogs bound into the kitchen.
She sets the dirty dishes on the floor, and the dogs start their pre-wash routine. The other woman fainted dead away. <G>

Now, my wife hates shopping (as did I, so I gave her that I'd do the shopping as a bonus wedding gift); I buy it, she cooks it.

Not a bad trade off.

I had thought of myself as a Life Member of BTR (Bachelor 'Til Rapture); but The Good Lord made a liar out of me on that...and I got voted out. <G>

Seems like this one was a mite cynical.

What's funny is that I couldn't see any need to marry before I met the woman who'd be my wife. Now, 14 years a widower, some days, it gets

awfully

lonely. But, nowadays, so many have "too much baggage" to deal with...and

I

don't want or need all that "drama". The "drama" I preferred was in

theatre

arts in high school and college. Long before I started dating Janice, this one girl in the Sunday School lamented "Lord, if you don't give me a man, I'm gonna die!!"...and that turned me off. I've known several women like that...who basically want kids (and sex) so bad, they can taste it. Sex is not the be all and end all of marriage...it's a fringe benefit.

I was *NEVER* so embarrassed in all my life!!

Aww -- this is what makes indelible memories.

I could feel myself blushing. :P

My BIL married my sister with "take to be my awfully wedded wife"(nervous); luckily the ceremony was caught on video. . .

LOL. I nearly had another "boner moment"...I nearly said "With
this ring, I thee bed". <G>

the entire group roared in laughter.

A happy day for all!

Her parents and her grandmother had come up from Florida for the
wedding. Janice was in the back getting dressed, and her Dad asked
where she was. When I told him where she was, he quipped "I thought
she had coppered out". He then asked me for "one last kiss from her
before we got married". I replied "While she'll be my wife...first
and foremost, she's your daughter".

To this day, nearly 18 years later, I still can't look at the
wedding video without crying like a baby.

Nothing wrong with that -- it means you felt & felt sincerely. It's a treasure.

I do have a ton of wonderful memories that no one can take away.
We met on a BBS run by a local college, and as they say, "the rest
is history"...we truly were "Married With Modem Sysops".

and asked "What are you doing in there??". I wish I would've had
my wits about me...I would've replied "Playing Strip Poker". <G>

Why not, right? In the Jewish tradition marriage is consummated not

by

a bloody sheet hung out the window, but by the bride & groom going in to a small room in seclusion together for a half hour or so -- to

"eat

a small meal together, privately".

That's part of consuming, isn't it?? <G>

Yup, people assume what they wish to. . .

You know what they about assume...

So the one from Batman is on lunch break?? <G>

He died, didn't he?

I want to say it was Caesar Romero...I think all the characters from
the original TV series are dead and gone now. The one who played Robin,
I think now advertises a special line of dog food.

Or wrap up the toys they haven't touched in awhile, and give
them as Christmas presents (one parent did this, and the kids
thought they were new...but they had forgotten they hadn't played
with them in a long time).

That's a good one, but check they're still the right age for it. . .

At least it's not like the blonde who brings a crap filled diaper,

saying

"it was good up to 20 pounds". :P

To ground your kid, don'ty take away their devices -- take away their chargers, so they get to slowly watch the batteries get lower &

lower.

. .

No pressure. Or change the way to unlock the phone (i.e. the PIN).

I've been thinking about adoption lately, but nobody wants to take a 12yo boy who eats like a Sumo wrestler!

He's growing...in more ways than one.

& the smooth motio of the car helps get those wee bairs a-snoozing.

I

used to just walk around for hours with the kid in my arms (as a teen babysitting for the neighbourhood single moms)

Nowadays, most kids wouldn't think of doing such.

My wife & I sing the Staples Xmas ad jingle in September: "It's the most wonderful time of the year. . ."

Yep, when they go back to school.

You know, eh? How many kids do you have?

None...but that's from what I've read and heard. After having chicken
pox that went into encephalitis (I was in the hospital for a week, and quarantined from college and work for 2 months)...then working around
and absorbing nasty solvents in silkscreen printing...as my late wife so eloquently put it, "they wouldn't spay me...so he volunteered to get neutered".

I got a wrong number(she sounded cute) called in once asking for Heather, I said, "I can be Heather for ya; how long do you need me for?"

She laughed & said, "sorry, wrong number."

At least it got a smile out of her.

Daryl

... Can you tell me when my past due amount is due??
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (1:19/33)

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

George,

That's so adult & responsible. You know the tv ads/corporations want
you to go wild & impulse buy/splurge, right?

The joke is that the ham radio gear manufacturers are rejoicing, and
hoping that the ham radio operators will order new gear from them. Several years ago, there was a "DC To Daylight" rig at the big ham radio event in
Ohio for $20,000!!

Now, I (and most other hams) agree that we could "outfit a nice ham radio room for $20,000"...but for one rig, that's overkill.

Oh well, I guess you were also raised to understand you don't work for them, eh?

Nope. The most splurging I get anymore is going to a fancy restaurant for lunch.

Some things my moderatoin level is zero. (e.g. tobacco -- 18 years
under that devil on my baxck was plenty -- I was freed, PTL, & I'm not going back!)

The only thing I want smoking or steaming is the food on my dinner plate. (think sizzling fajitas at Applebee's). I mentioned that at my heart clinic, and the young black nurse laughed, and said "That's what I'm talking about!!" <G>.

How come? I love cheesecake; a friend dropped me off a duble height one when I was 20, expecting it'd last me a while; I returned her pan the
next day!)

It's too rich. There is a small computer deal called a Raspberry Pi (there are apparently variations, such as Banana and Orange Pi's), which run under Linux...and are in use by amateur radio operators, among others. I tell them that "I don't know much about a raspberry pi...but a pineapple upside down cheesecake sounds awfully good". <G>

I use sparkling spring water for punches, so there's no added
flavour(not even the soda water component) to change the base
punch/juice flavour. I buy the 2L spring water for $99 usually. (Ginger Ale same, unless name brand name, then it's $2.35 for 500ml!)

I'm staying away from the carbonated beverages...I'm drinking diet green
tea citrus now. The eye doctor said the caffeine won't increase the eye pressure...the "diet" ensures no sugar...and it's also a diurectic, but
not as strong as Lasix. The latter has the kidneys working overtime, but
that's better than kidney stones...the pain is the closest thing a man
can get to childbirth.

I rarely drink pop -- the occasional Coke just for the caffeine.

I used to drink Coca-Cola and Ginger Ale to settle my stomach...as
they wouldn't put me to sleep like Odansetron (Zofran, Promethazine,
Phenagren, etc.) does in treating nausea.

I used to drink about 2 ounces of root beer a year & that was the only
pop I drank! Now, with work & family. . . *sigh* (permatired)

There are several brands of root beer...A&W, Dad's, Hires, Barq's, and
I've seen some with Kroger and Wal-Mart. But some beverages (especially
the Pepsi products) are like I was drinking prune juice.

Daryl

... Remember, half the people you know are below average.
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (1:19/33)

George,

That's so adult & responsible. You know the tv ads/corporations want you to go wild & impulse buy/splurge, right?

The joke is that the ham radio gear manufacturers are rejoicing, and hoping that the ham radio operators will order new gear from them. Several years ago, there was a "DC To Daylight" rig at the big ham radio event in Ohio for $20,000!!

Now, I (and most other hams) agree that we could "outfit a nice ham

radio

room for $20,000"...but for one rig, that's overkill.

Prices change, yup. I like looking at old Radio Shack ads from the 1970s.

$5,499 for a brand new state of the art IBM PC Jr (8088).

I had a 'high speed' 300baud external modem (once sold as the sysop's choice, years before I discovered computing); I had it when win98 was current & I did use it to log on to the internet once!

I also logged onto the net using Windows 2.0 around then, too!

Oh well, I guess you were also raised to understand you don't work

for

them, eh?

Nope. The most splurging I get anymore is going to a fancy restaurant

for

lunch.

I like that on occasion, but not during covid. . .

Now, if extra funds, after paying bills & filling cupboards & freezer, I
might treat the family to something good from Uber Eats (A&W, NYFries, & Freshii are our faves); I'm bored of pizza.

Some things my moderatoin level is zero. (e.g. tobacco -- 18 years under that devil on my baxck was plenty -- I was freed, PTL, & I'm

not

going back!)

The only thing I want smoking or steaming is the food on my dinner

plate.

(think sizzling fajitas at Applebee's). I mentioned that at my heart

clinic,

and the young black nurse laughed, and said "That's what I'm talking about!!" <G>.

Good plan! No positives from smoking cigarettes.

It's the hardest drug to quit, they say. My experience seemed to bolster
that. . . until I looked seriously at my habit & heard the verse, "do everything as unto the Lord"

Well, I realized that nobody seeing me smoking was going to automoatiucally assume I was a Christian, so I asked myself what I would need to change (besides quitting, as I'd marked that as impossible)

I got the clue one day while waiting on a bench for a bus. I was on the one far end, & a young boy (11-13?) waas on the other; he sat down AFTER I'd been smoking, so I figured he made that choice.

I noted hie was lookin miserable & trying to cover his face with his shirt.
I lifted my cig & asked, "Is this bothering you?" he nodded so miserably(no attitude of 'I'll get that smoker'), I immediately tossed it into the rain drain, & realized I can't smoke even outdoors at a bus bench as somebody
might NEED to sit, & only sit to save falling, then my smoke could exacerbate asthma or allergies. So I took to standing, with my bad leg, behind bus shelter(in the rain) or a half block downwind.

This was painful, but whsat it weas incumbent upon me to do.

Then I realised that even in my own home I was not sovereign.

When I had guests, I'd ask them if I was allowed to smoke" (freaked a lot
out!)

One neighbour spent 6-12 hours a day just parked in my place, so I negotiated with him, that I'd cut down to 1/hour & burn a candle beside me during that. (he had allergies)

Evebntually it became too much trouble to smoke 'properly' & kindly, & I was truly ready to quit, so I asked God, in prayerr, to help me.

My church(Mennonites) was rabidly anti-smoking(think Baptists), yet offered
to pay for The Nicotine Patch system (way out of my affordability, at $60 a
set every 2 weeks)

I was out of smokes the first day I picked up the patch kit, as I wanted to
be. I'd been without a cig foir 2+ hours when I got it, & hid myself in some
u nderground stairs to read tghew instructions & put my first patch on my shoulder. WHOOSH!!! Even as addictyed as I was & immune to any noticeable response to nicotine, that patch contained enough nicotine that I got momentarily 'high'; that gave me the assurance I needed that this could work for replacing my high nicotine input habit.

It was still difficult -- I caught myself lighting up occasionally while on
the patch (a good way to have a heart attack)

I prayed for protection, & fought the urges for the 6 week program & actually fully quit the patch a week early, while on a church outing to the beach up
the coast at a member's home.

Nothing but love for God for this one. I didn't HAVE to quit -- I could
afford my habit just fine, & I'd come to a truce about it with my church's leadership. (never on chuirch property or on the same block, even, & tru to
cut back)

But trying to focus on my job as a man of God(unordained at this point) did
the trick, with the Spirit guiding me when & as needed. . .

Hmm. .smoking. . .

Sure, smoking helps you lose weight: one lung at a time!

Doctor to patient do you smoke?
Patient: yes.
Doctor: marijuana, cigarettes, cigars, Vapes?
Patient: mostly brisket, and pork.

How come? I love cheesecake; a friend dropped me off a duble height

one

when I was 20, expecting it'd last me a while; I returned her pan the next day!)

It's too rich. There is a small computer deal called a Raspberry Pi

(there

are apparently variations, such as Banana and Orange Pi's), which run

under

Linux...and are in use by amateur radio operators, among others. I tell

them

that "I don't know much about a raspberry pi...but a pineapple upside down cheesecake sounds awfully good". <G>

I'd try raspberry pie; can't afford raspberry pi.

I use sparkling spring water for punches, so there's no added flavour(not even the soda water component) to change the base punch/juice flavour. I buy the 2L spring water for $99 usually.

(Ginger

Ale same, unless name brand name, then it's $2.35 for 500ml!)

I'm staying away from the carbonated beverages...I'm drinking diet green tea citrus now. The eye doctor said the caffeine won't increase the eye pressure...the "diet" ensures no sugar...and it's also a diurectic, but
not as strong as Lasix. The latter has the kidneys working overtime, but that's better than kidney stones...the pain is the closest thing a man
can get to childbirth.

Sparkling spring water is natural water, not a soda.

I rarely drink pop -- the occasional Coke just for the caffeine.

I used to drink Coca-Cola and Ginger Ale to settle my stomach...as
they wouldn't put me to sleep like Odansetron (Zofran, Promethazine, Phenagren, etc.) does in treating nausea.

Per "Mythbusters" the best treatment for nausea is simple ginger (more so
than dramamine or even prescription antinausea meds)

I have ginger lozenges of dramamine. (acts quickly & assuredly to kill
nausea)

I used to drink about 2 ounces of root beer a year & that was the

only

pop I drank! Now, with work & family. . . *sigh* (permatired)

There are several brands of root beer...A&W, Dad's, Hires, Barq's, and I've seen some with Kroger and Wal-Mart. But some beverages (especially
the Pepsi products) are like I was drinking prune juice.

I used to make A&W root beer from scratch every Saturday morning in '89,
whebn I worked at one of the lsadt A&W drive-ins in Canada -- fun.

Barq's is the only root beer that contains caffeine(& not much of it)

I drink mainly Coke now, just for the quick-acting wake-up drug in it.

& Ginger Ale when I order meals at NYFries at home.

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

George,

$5,499 for a brand new state of the art IBM PC Jr (8088).

I remember cars at $2000...now, they're at least 10 times that amount.

I had a 'high speed' 300baud external modem (once sold as the sysop's choice, years before I discovered computing); I had it when win98 was current & I did use it to log on to the internet once!

We thought we were smokin' with 14.4!!

I like that on occasion, but not during covid. . .

While they've relaxed the mask mandate in Arkansas, it's basically now
the diner's choice to have it on until their food and drink arrive. I keep
mine on...and may do so after the second COVID-19 shot.

Now, if extra funds, after paying bills & filling cupboards & freezer,
I might treat the family to something good from Uber Eats (A&W,
NYFries, & Freshii are our faves); I'm bored of pizza.

Uber wants me to order stuff, but right now, I have plenty of food here,
and what they're offering, didn't appeal to me.

When I had guests, I'd ask them if I was allowed to smoke" (freaked a
lot out!)

I'd say so. But, I can't be in a smoke filled room, or I have trouble breathing, or think I'm getting cancer of the eyeballs.

My church(Mennonites) was rabidly anti-smoking(think Baptists), yet offered to pay for The Nicotine Patch system (way out of my
affordability, at $60 a set every 2 weeks)

The B.C. comic strip years ago, noted "If you roll the patch too tight,
it doesn't light". :P

But trying to focus on my job as a man of God(unordained at this point) did the trick, with the Spirit guiding me when & as needed. . .

I never picked up the vices of smoking or drinking.

Doctor to patient do you smoke?
Patient: yes.
Doctor: marijuana, cigarettes, cigars, Vapes?
Patient: mostly brisket, and pork.

Works for me. Again, I've got to go eat...you're making me hungry.

Daryl

... "Somebody left the cork out of my lunch." -W.C. Fields
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
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I had a 'high speed' 300baud external modem (once sold as the sysop's choice, years before I discovered computing); I had it when win98 was current & I did use it to log on to the internet once!

We thought we were smokin' with 14.4!!

I got a 16,000baud "Turbo" modem. Most dialup DOS boards it was fine; most giving me 14.4 speed, but some read their connect strings left to right & connected me at 1.6!(matching 1600 then connecting) (oyyy!); most of those sysops edited it so I got true 16K connects.

I like that on occasion, but not during covid. . .

While they've relaxed the mask mandate in Arkansas, it's basically now
the diner's choice to have it on until their food and drink arrive. I keep mine on...and may do so after the second COVID-19 shot.

Here it is requested you keep your mask on until food & drink arrive, or at least until you're seated at your booth(if a booth)

I wear my mask asa a rule, but I lower it when in bwetween destinations & no people about. . . & enjoy the cool fresh air hitting my face, drying the
sweat from my last indoor time.

Now, if extra funds, after paying bills & filling cupboards &

freezer,

I might treat the family to something good from Uber Eats (A&W, NYFries, & Freshii are our faves); I'm bored of pizza.

Uber wants me to order stuff, but right now, I have plenty of food here, and what they're offering, didn't appeal to me.

Use the "Search" function on the app to see all they have (first categories, then each category has a list of restaurants(some crosslap)

I like "American" or "Healthy" for a good selection; not much overlap in
those two, for some reason. . .

They now deliver groceries, too.

When I had guests, I'd ask them if I was allowed to smoke" (freaked a lot out!)

I'd say so. But, I can't be in a smoke filled room, or I have trouble breathing, or think I'm getting cancer of the eyeballs.

Then for your visits, I would've opened the window & stop smoking an hour before you came.

My church(Mennonites) was rabidly anti-smoking(think Baptists), yet offered to pay for The Nicotine Patch system (way out of my affordability, at $60 a set every 2 weeks)

The B.C. comic strip years ago, noted "If you roll the patch too tight,
it doesn't light". :P

I've used that line, with no idea where it originated. . .

But trying to focus on my job as a man of God(unordained at this

point)

did the trick, with the Spirit guiding me when & as needed. . .

I never picked up the vices of smoking or drinking.

Good. I don't consider them to be "vices"; they CAN be, if mis-used.

My philosophy is "moderation in all things"; as a former tobacco addict, my moderation level is zero.

For alcohol, it's about 2-4ml/week on average.

Doctor to patient do you smoke?
Patient: yes.
Doctor: marijuana, cigarettes, cigars, Vapes?
Patient: mostly brisket, and pork.

Works for me. Again, I've got to go eat...you're making me hungry.

Food is good!

One quickie snack I like is I put 2 eggs into a ramiken, beat them into homgenized liquid, mix in 1tsp of habanero sauce & a few quartered mushrooms
& some 1cc cheese cubes. Then 2m10s in the microwave(Baby Chernobyl) & put
it bwtwen two pieces of toast (thin smear of Miracle Whip on eah toast
optional -- usually )omitted for time.

Quick, healthy,. tasty -- just what I love -- McDonalds offers those same 3 quyalities for all their menu items, but you can only get 2 in any one item
in any fast food chain. . .

It's, essentially, a quickie (not quiche) omelet. . .

Omelets:

My brother-in-law taught his offspring a seasoning that is an excellent addition to omelets and egg strata...
It was good father-son-thyme.

Eulogy of an egg
He died last fry day. Thank God he wasn't beaten. Don't worry, he went over easy. He's now on the sunny side. He's definitely in a better plate.

An egg breakup is hard, but after that..
ItÆs over easy

I hope you found these puns to be an eggselent use of the ObJoke tradition. .
.

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

George,

Here it is requested you keep your mask on until food & drink arrive,
or at least until you're seated at your booth(if a booth)

That's what it is here...but since the mask mandate has been relaxed,
it depends on the restaurant, whether you have to keep it on until your
food and drink arrive.

I wear my mask asa a rule, but I lower it when in bwetween destinations
& no people about. . . & enjoy the cool fresh air hitting my face,
drying the sweat from my last indoor time.

With living alone, and when I'm driving in my car, I don't wear the mask... why should I??

Use the "Search" function on the app to see all they have (first categories, then each category has a list of restaurants(some crosslap)

I'll worry about that later...got other stuff to worry about first.

I like "American" or "Healthy" for a good selection; not much overlap
in those two, for some reason. . .

The price of everything keeps going up.

Then for your visits, I would've opened the window & stop smoking an
hour before you came.

If you smoke during sex, you're doing it too fast. <G>

The B.C. comic strip years ago, noted "If you roll the patch too tight,
it doesn't light". :P

I've used that line, with no idea where it originated. . .

Me, neither.

Good. I don't consider them to be "vices"; they CAN be, if mis-used.

If you're a Vice President, does that make you President Of Vice??

It's, essentially, a quickie (not quiche) omelet. . .

I see you remember the joke on that. <G>

Eulogy of an egg
He died last fry day. Thank God he wasn't beaten. Don't worry, he went over easy. He's now on the sunny side. He's definitely in a better
plate.

Egg-citing story.

An egg breakup is hard, but after that..
ItÆs over easy

And runny.

Daryl

... News Headline: Man shoots neighbor with machete.
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.13-Win32
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That's what it is here...but since the mask mandate has been relaxed,
it depends on the restaurant, whether you have to keep it on until your
food and drink arrive.

In general, here you must have your mask on when entering any public building (including restaurants); once at your booth, you'reconsidered in morte
private territory (as in bathrooms--haven't heard of Bathroom Patrols yet))

With living alone, and when I'm driving in my car, I don't wear the mask... why should I??

At home & in your car alone, of course you don't need to wear it by any standards.

But elsewhere, you could come in contact with the virus & the mask provides some (1-2%) protection for you & 95% for others, in case you've got it & are asymptomatic.

Use the "Search" function on the app to see all they have (first categories, then each category has a list of restaurants(some

crosslap)

I'll worry about that later...got other stuff to worry about first.

Of course; but when you want to go for Uber Eats, that's what I've found most helpful.

I like "American" or "Healthy" for a good selection; not much overlap in those two, for some reason. . .

The price of everything keeps going up.

& not by happenstance (bad weather wrecking the wheat crops so burgers go up, or the Arabs go to war again, increasing fuel costs for delivering
everything, including your groceries & restaurants' ingfredients); it's all artificial & deliberate; milking us to within an inch of our ability to live.

Then for your visits, I would've opened the window & stop smoking an hour before you came.

If you smoke during sex, you're doing it too fast. <G>

I've been fast, I've been slow, but never smoked during sex; melted a condom
or two to bits, though, in my younger days. (everything good & nominally immoral I enjoyed in my younger days)

Good. I don't consider them to be "vices"; they CAN be, if mis-used.

If you're a Vice President, does that make you President Of Vice??

Looking back at the political news from you country the past few decades, I think so! & I think Bill Clinton was a Vice President (not Vice-President)

Some say he was the first black president:
1) he lived in government housinig
2) he received agovernment cheque each month
3) he played the saxaphone
4) he liked chubby white girls (bony Linda notwithstanding)

It's, essentially, a quickie (not quiche) omelet. . .

I see you remember the joke on that. <G>

Of course; I'm the Cyberpope (Bishop of ROM)

I was filling this echo over 26 years ago. . .

Eulogy of an egg
He died last fry day. Thank God he wasn't beaten. Don't worry, he

went

over easy. He's now on the sunny side. He's definitely in a better plate.

Egg-citing story.

Trying to get your funny side up. . .

An egg breakup is hard, but after that..
ItÆs over easy

And runny.

Trump's a good shit in the long run (but who wants long runny shit?)

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

George,

In general, here you must have your mask on when entering any public building (including restaurants); once at your booth, you'reconsidered
in morte private territory (as in bathrooms--haven't heard of Bathroom Patrols yet))

I think of the cartoon from Gary Larsen's "The Far Side" comic strip
years ago. This guy is coming out of a restaurant bathroom...and suddenly,
the lights flash, the siren goes off, and the speaker shouts with the
sign "DIDN'T WASH HANDS!!". <G>

The place where I used to live (H.U.D. subsidized housing for the
disabled), had to require a key to access the restrooms...as several
folks who weren't residents there, were using them as "love nests" (there
were used condoms, etc. on the floor).

At home & in your car alone, of course you don't need to wear it by any standards.

To me, doing that, is overkill.

But elsewhere, you could come in contact with the virus & the mask provides some (1-2%) protection for you & 95% for others, in case
you've got it & are asymptomatic.

I treat the shot like an injection I've had for other things...such as
the flu, tetanus, shingles, and now COVID-19. If I were to come down with
the illness, it should be "less" than what I would've had otherwise. There
is no guarantee that you will NOT get the illness, even if getting the shot.
Of course, with all my medical conditions, the saying "they shoot horses,
don't they??" comes to mind. <G>

Of course; but when you want to go for Uber Eats, that's what I've
found most helpful.

I may try it this week...had other errands to do, and I already had plans
to eat out. But, since I'll be home for a few days, I'll either make my own,
or call out for it. I'll have to see if they have a better choice than what
I initially saw.

& not by happenstance (bad weather wrecking the wheat crops so burgers
go up, or the Arabs go to war again, increasing fuel costs for
delivering everything, including your groceries & restaurants' ingredients); it's all artificial & deliberate; milking us to within
an inch of our ability to live.

Yep. All that corn going to waste on ethanol...when we could be feeding
a bunch of folks...even though I can't really eat that anymore, due to digestive tract issues.

If you smoke during sex, you're doing it too fast. <G>

I've been fast, I've been slow, but never smoked during sex; melted a condom or two to bits, though, in my younger days. (everything good & nominally immoral I enjoyed in my younger days)

Nowadays, it's like ventriloquist Jeff Dunham and Walter, telling Jeff
about what "Safe Sex" between Walter and his wife consists of. He said
"she screams 'Screw You', and I yell 'Bite Me'" <G>. Walter also said that
the "noises are a bit pornographic"...but they were "Get Off!!" or "I can't
see The Weather Channel". <G>

Looking back at the political news from you country the past few
decades, I think so! & I think Bill Clinton was a Vice President (not Vice-President)

Whether one likes or loathes him, the Presidential Library has done quite
a bit for tourism in the River Market District in the downtown area, which
is separated by the Arkansas River...between Little Rock and North Little
Rock (it was originally known as Argenta). In fact, the Clinton School Of Public Service is in the former Rock Island Railroad Passenger Depot...and
the former railroad bridge is now a pedestrian bridge over the Arkansas
River.

Some say he was the first black president:
1) he lived in government housinig
2) he received agovernment cheque each month
3) he played the saxaphone
4) he liked chubby white girls (bony Linda notwithstanding)

In a word, really.

Egg-citing story.

Trying to get your funny side up. . .

Better than poaching in on the subject with yolks. <G>

Trump's a good shit in the long run (but who wants long runny shit?)

Everyone has to sit on the toilet sooner or later. :P

But, the S word actually is an acronym for "So Happy It's Thursday". <G>

Daryl

... Sex: A misdemeanor. Da more you miss, Da meaner you get.
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (1:19/33)

George,

In general, here you must have your mask on when entering any public building (including restaurants); once at your booth,

you'reconsidered

in more private territory (as in bathrooms--haven't heard of Bathroom Patrols yet))

I think of the cartoon from Gary Larsen's "The Far Side" comic strip
years ago. This guy is coming out of a restaurant bathroom...and suddenly, the lights flash, the siren goes off, and the speaker shouts with the
sign "DIDN'T WASH HANDS!!". <G>

That may be coming; I'd like to see a crotch-height fisdt ram out into guys
who delibertey pee o the floor st the urinals (I can't get shoes that fit, so I'm in sock feet when I'm out -- not fun to stand in a puddle of pee & then know the bacteria/etc are breeding betwixt my toes until I get home & can
wash them. . . :(

I saw a guy, once, standing two feet back, aimming straight down, creating quite the bounce-up on the floor; I felt like wheeling up behind him & using
my size 13 to ram him into the urinal!

Seesm a few guys standig way back & arcing it into the urinal (seems they
have no conxcept of what happens as you finish your stream & where that'll
go)

One lady at the grocery store's single roomn cusatomer bathroom obviously squatted o the seat & xcovered it in yellow liquid, as I'd waited long enough she did use the facilitiers & couldn't say she took one look at what someone ELSE did, & left without sitting. Middle aged, so "old enough to know
better," I'd say. . .

The place where I used to live (H.U.D. subsidized housing for the disabled), had to require a key to access the restrooms...as several
folks who weren't residents there, were using them as "love nests" (there were used condoms, etc. on the floor).

At my work when it was in person, downtown, in a heritage buildig, they had
the one accessible washroom on the first floor. I waited a long time, to see
a young dissheveled couple come out, apologize sheepishly; I did my "smells like something crawled up & DIED" routine, & exited, only to see them headed for it again, giggling; I didn't wait to see their non-romantic reaction to following my performance., but I pictured it & guffawed, inside all day. . .

At home & in your car alone, of course you don't need to wear it by

any

standards.

To me, doing that, is overkill.

Some yowns sday you must & uit's an obvius cash grab only, not a health concern. People who are wearting a mask in their car, I presume are just
saving time by keeping iton for their next indoor destination, &/or
preventing germs landing on car surfaces of a car that aged 70+ Grandpa also uses.

But elsewhere, you could come in contact with the virus & the mask provides some (1-2%) protection for you & 95% for others, in case you've got it & are asymptomatic.

I treat the shot like an injection I've had for other things...such as
the flu, tetanus, shingles, and now COVID-19. If I were to come down with the illness, it should be "less" than what I would've had otherwise. There is no guarantee that you will NOT get the illness, even if getting the

shot.

Of course, with all my medical conditions, the saying "they shoot horses, don't they??" comes to mind. <G>

You're one of the rare few who actually reads up & understands what's going
on -- most especially rare in your country, sadly. . .

I happened to mention, in earshot of an iPhone that Iif the timie for me to
get to front of the vaccine line was going to take so long (9 months at the time) I'll just skip it altogether.

Next day, a nurse calls me offering to come to m home to give me the shot. I asked if I can be gusranteed not to ge the Astrozeneca; se said no, so I said no.

Last week I mentioned in room with same iPhones that I'll take the shot, but only if I get the P[fizr one. Next day I get a call saying I could be giaranteed the Pfizr one ifg I wanted it; they're coming Monday to jab me.

The fax they are listening to me & so eager to poke me scares my wife & me somewhat, but. . .eventially not having it will close employment doors to me, so might as well conform, I guess. . .

If it offs me, you'll know I was aware & only took what I reasonably thought was the best option, to keep others safe. & that someone went out of their
way to listen in & find out what would get me to conform.

Of course; but when you want to go for Uber Eats, that's what I've found most helpful.

I may try it this week...had other errands to do, and I already had

plans

to eat out. But, since I'll be home for a few days, I'll either make my

own,

or call out for it. I'll have to see if they have a better choice than

what

I initially saw.

Of all our delivery apps, Uber has the biggest selection; they must give the better deal to the restaurants.

Since discovering a fave food court restaurant(Bourbon Street Grill) is on Uber, my fam & I been ordering it regularly. For $15 each, it's enough food
for 2-3 meals, mostly meat!

& not by happenstance (bad weather wrecking the wheat crops so

burgers

go up, or the Arabs go to war again, increasing fuel costs for delivering everything, including your groceries & restaurants' ingredients); it's all artificial & deliberate; milking us to within
an inch of our ability to live.

Yep. All that corn going to waste on ethanol...when we could be feeding
a bunch of folks...even though I can't really eat that anymore, due to digestive tract issues.

Consider, too, that the ethanol helps get the food you can/do want to you & cheaper, too.

Thge one that gets me ois how fruit & milk(& others) farmers deliberately destroy(bulldozing it under) at least 20% of their crops just to keep prices higher. . .Grrr. . .

If you smoke during sex, you're doing it too fast. <G>

I've been fast, I've been slow, but never smoked during sex; melted a condom or two to bits, though, in my younger days. (everything good & nominally immoral I enjoyed in my younger days)

Nowadays, it's like ventriloquist Jeff Dunham and Walter, telling Jeff about what "Safe Sex" between Walter and his wife consists of. He said
"she screams 'Screw You', and I yell 'Bite Me'" <G>. Walter also said that the "noises are a bit pornographic"...but they were "Get Off!!" or "I

can't

see The Weather Channel". <G>

I love the Dunham Bunch! Especially Walter & Achmed!

Looking back at the political news from you country the past few decades, I think so! & I think Bill Clinton was a Vice President (not Vice-President)

Whether one likes or loathes him, the Presidential Library has done

quite

a bit for tourism in the River Market District in the downtown area, which is separated by the Arkansas River...between Little Rock and North Little Rock (it was originally known as Argenta). In fact, the Clinton School Of Public Service is in the former Rock Island Railroad Passenger Depot...and the former railroad bridge is now a pedestrian bridge over the Arkansas River.

Not sure I'll ever visit LR, AK, as I heard it's against the law to mispronounce the state name there (I like to say ar-Kansas too much)

Reminds me of a joke I heard on a Xaviara Hollandar record back in the '80s:

Southern Guy: You see that tattoo on my thing that says L.I.T.T.L.E.? When I get happy, it spells out "Little Rock Arkansas, United Stastes of America!"

Some say he was the first black president:
1) he lived in government housinig
2) he received agovernment cheque each month
3) he played the saxaphone
4) he liked chubby white girls (bony Linda notwithstanding)

In a word, really.

That's whjat I heard; no idea from whom.

Egg-citing story.

Trying to get your funny side up. . .

Better than poaching in on the subject with yolks. <G>

White you were thinking that one up, I had scramble & do some errands. . .

Trump's a good shit in the long run (but who wants long runny shit?)

Everyone has to sit on the toilet sooner or later. :P

Some sitting sessions are superir or inferior to others. . .

But, the S word actually is an acronym for "So Happy It's Thursday". <G>

I heard it was a nun saying "T.G.I.F.!" to the grumpy executive in the elevator; he replied with "S.H.I.T.!"

She repeated her greeting 3 more times, with him replying the same each.

Finally she said, in a perturbed, sad, tone, "T.G.I.F., you know 'thank God it's Friday'"

He replies, "I know, & I replied S.H.I.T.-- 'sorry, honey, it's Thursday."

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

George Pope wrote to Daryl Stout <=-

Finally she said, in a perturbed, sad, tone, "T.G.I.F., you know 'thank God it's Friday'"

He replies, "I know, & I replied S.H.I.T.-- 'sorry, honey, it's
Thursday."

I thought he meant that she should be getting some "Special, High Intensity Training."


... The tuna doesn't taste the same without the dolphin.
=== MultiMail/Linux v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: Diamond Mine Online BBS - bbs.dmine.net:24 (1:275/89)

George Pope wrote to Daryl Stout <=-

Finally she said, in a perturbed, sad, tone, "T.G.I.F., you know 'thank God it's Friday'"

He replies, "I know, & I replied S.H.I.T.-- 'sorry, honey, it's Thursday."

I thought he meant that she should be getting some "Special, High Intensity Training."

Ahh, another who's familiar with all the oldies. . .

... The tuna doesn't taste the same without the dolphin.

IKR? They ruint perfectly good tuna salad sandwiches!

If dolphins are so smart, why do they keep getting caught in the tuna nets?

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

George,

the lights flash, the siren goes off, and the speaker shouts with the
sign "DIDN'T WASH HANDS!!". <G>

That may be coming; I'd like to see a crotch-height fisdt ram out into guys who delibertey pee o the floor st the urinals (I can't get shoes
that fit, so I'm in sock feet when I'm out -- not fun to stand in a
puddle of pee & then know the bacteria/etc are breeding betwixt my toes until I get home & can wash them. . . :(

No kidding. There are country folks that say "you haven't lived until
you've walked barefoot through a cow pasture". Uh, no thanks. :P

I saw a guy, once, standing two feet back, aimming straight down,
creating quite the bounce-up on the floor; I felt like wheeling up
behind him & using my size 13 to ram him into the urinal!

There should've been a sign:

"WE AIM TO PLEASE -- YOU AIM, TOO....PLEASE." <G>

Seesm a few guys standig way back & arcing it into the urinal (seems
they have no conxcept of what happens as you finish your stream & where that'll go)

With incontinence, I don't have the luxury of a fly anymore...so everything "drops". Years ago, I had put a pair of long underwear on BACKWARDS, and did NOT realize it...and I thought "Crap!! They've sewn the fly shut". :P

One lady at the grocery store's single roomn cusatomer bathroom
obviously squatted o the seat & xcovered it in yellow liquid, as I'd waited long enough she did use the facilitiers & couldn't say she took
one look at what someone ELSE did, & left without sitting. Middle
aged, so "old enough to know better," I'd say. . .

No one has any concern for their fellow man or woman anymore.

At my work when it was in person, downtown, in a heritage buildig, they had the one accessible washroom on the first floor. I waited a long
time, to see a young dissheveled couple come out, apologize sheepishly;
I did my "smells like something crawled up & DIED" routine, & exited,
only to see them headed for it again, giggling; I didn't wait to see
their non-romantic reaction to following my performance., but I
pictured it & guffawed, inside all day. . .

Wow.

To me, doing that, is overkill.

It is. I think of ventriloquist Jeff Dunham's dummy, Walter, who wondered "Why are these folks wearing a mask but not covering their face?? It's like wearing a jock strap down on your knees. :P

Some yowns sday you must & uit's an obvius cash grab only, not a health concern. People who are wearting a mask in their car, I presume are
just saving time by keeping iton for their next indoor destination,
&/or preventing germs landing on car surfaces of a car that aged 70+ Grandpa also uses.

Hard to say...but when I was growing up, kids ate dirt, made mud pies,
etc., and built up resistance to all the germs. Nowadays, everything is over-sanitized, so the kids have no chance to build up resistance or
immunity to these diseases.

I did get both COVID-19 shots, looking at it like any other innoculation.
If you get the disease (notice how NO SHOT is "100% effective"??), it'd be
a milder case than you would've gotten otherwise. In the last year, I've
had shots for flu, tentanus, shingles, B-12, Low-T, and now COVID-19.

You're one of the rare few who actually reads up & understands what's going on -- most especially rare in your country, sadly. . .

I have a 4 volume "Medical Encyclopedia" (my late wife would've loved
reading that). I was looking in the section of appendicitis, and it said
"If the appendix bursts, that can lead to peritonitis"...and added "This
is a very serious condition". In reading that, I thought "What was your
first clue??!!".

The fax they are listening to me & so eager to poke me scares my wife &
me somewhat, but. . .eventially not having it will close employment
doors to me, so might as well conform, I guess. . .

The same applies to the "Real ID" with the drivers license (at least here
in the US). Eventually, without the Real ID, you can't enter a federal building, or fly...and it may apply also to having had the COVID-19 shot.

Of all our delivery apps, Uber has the biggest selection; they must
give the better deal to the restaurants.

I got Uber eats from Wendy's last week...as I had a coupon to use.

Since discovering a fave food court restaurant(Bourbon Street Grill) is
on Uber, my fam & I been ordering it regularly. For $15 each, it's
enough food for 2-3 meals, mostly meat!

Not bad. I went to a local restaurant that offered this huge plate of spaghetti and meatballs...made like my late mother used to do. My brother
gets 3 meals out of it...and he said "If you eat that whole thing, I'll
give you $10". So, after munching on some garlic cheese sticks, and some vegetable beef soup, I ate everything there, plus a slice of lemon icebox pie...and washed it all down with sweet tea. He had stepped outside for a smoke, but some of his other friends were there, and said "I was at the
table the whole time, and did eat everything" (he thought I had thrown
some of it out). So, he gave me $10, which I promptly gave to the waitress.
He then said "I'll give you $5 if you'll order and eat the meatball
marinara sandwich"...to which I said "Forget the $5, I want $100". <G>

Thge one that gets me ois how fruit & milk(& others) farmers
deliberately destroy(bulldozing it under) at least 20% of their crops
just to keep prices higher. . .Grrr. . .

Now, they're saying there's a shortage on fuel truck drivers to get the gasoline from the refineries to terminals to gas stations. Well, you also apparently have to have a CDL, and HazMat certification, before you can
drive those tanker trucks.

If you smoke during sex, you're doing it too fast. <G>

I love the Dunham Bunch! Especially Walter & Achmed!

Did you see the recent one where Jeff changed the 4 Wi-Fi passwords,
and Peanut didn't have a clue??!! It was Jeff's version of the classic
"Who's On First?" routine. And, in the original routine, there was no
name for who was in right field (no, who is on first! <G>)...so I named
him "When". So, with the Baseball Dice door from Sunrise Doors, I renamed
all the players in there to characters from the skit. <G>

Not sure I'll ever visit LR, AK, as I heard it's against the law to mispronounce the state name there (I like to say ar-Kansas too much)

First, AK is Alaska...AL is Alabama, AZ is Arizona, and AR is Arkansas.
You wouldn't believe how many get those confused. Second, residents are
known as Arkansans, not Arkansawyans. <G> However, I'm a native Floridian, myself. At one time, some called it SASNAKRA (Arkansas spelled backwards), because they said "NO GAMBLING"...but you could bet on the horses at Hot Springs, and the greyhounds at West Memphis (a double standard).

I am in the process of putting the BBS into the cloud. I've been doing
ISP roulette, and dealing with weather issues. Hopefully by late next
week, the BBS will be back up...but with a different address (I'll
advise of it once everything's in place).

Today is the BBS's 29th birthday...in looking through the bulletins, especially on the one thanking users for contributions, etc., your name
is in there. :)

Daryl

... Support bacteria. It's the only culture some people have.
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (1:19/33)

guys who delibertey pee o the floor st the urinals (I can't get shoes that fit, so I'm in sock feet when I'm out -- not fun to stand in a puddle of pee & then know the bacteria/etc are breeding betwixt my

toes

until I get home & can wash them. . . :(

No kidding. There are country folks that say "you haven't lived until you've walked barefoot through a cow pasture". Uh, no thanks. :P

I'd ask them if they can do it barefoot & blindfolded!

> There should've been a sign:

"WE AIM TO PLEASE -- YOU AIM, TOO....PLEASE." <G>

One place I hung at had that & the other:

Ladies: Please say seated during the entire performance
Men: Stand close, it's shorter than you think.

With incontinence, I don't have the luxury of a fly anymore...so everything "drops". Years ago, I had put a pair of long underwear on BACKWARDS, and did NOT realize it...and I thought "Crap!! They've sewn the fly shut". :P

I'm getting that (incontinence) too :( dang it all, can't I skip even one of the frailties of age?!

I've neverused the Y-front in any ginch in my life -- takes too long, I just pull the waist of both pants down enough to haul Russell out & do my
biz(which rhymes with biz). .

> No one has any concern for their fellow man or woman anymore.

You've noticed that, too, eh?

It is. I think of ventriloquist Jeff Dunham's dummy, Walter, who

wondered

"Why are these folks wearing a mask but not covering their face?? It's

like

wearing a jock strap down on your knees. :P

Ditto for a bra., but I think the 80-year-old women might have no choice, as that's where the twins have decided to move to. . .

Hard to say...but when I was growing up, kids ate dirt, made mud pies, etc., and built up resistance to all the germs. Nowadays, everything is over-sanitized, so the kids have no chance to build up resistance or immunity to these diseases.

George Carlin talks about this, how the mos go nuts with the sanitizer every time little Jimmy or Julie touches ANYTHING.

He pauses and asks, "Do you kow how you build an immune system?" then goes on to his story of him & his peers swimming in the East River in NYC, & how that was essentially swimming in liquid sh*t.

Then describes his immune system in military elite commando team terms, & how they obliterate ANY germ that gets in there, before it can do any harm.

He can weave a good tale -- pure poetry! If you can understand his use of cusswords as just his personal type of commas. . .

I did get both COVID-19 shots, looking at it like any other

innoculation.

If you get the disease (notice how NO SHOT is "100% effective"??), it'd be
a milder case than you would've gotten otherwise. In the last year, I've
had shots for flu, tentanus, shingles, B-12, Low-T, and now COVID-19.

Milder, or even zero, especially if you're treating your immune system well (eating lots of fruits, vegetables, vitamin C, Zinc, garlic, onion, ginger)

I'll cut up 2 large onions into 2" chunks into a cpouiple quarts of water
with 1" of fresh ginger sliced thinly, & 5-6 garlic cloves also sliced
thinly, add in some cayenne pepper powder & red pepper flakes (more for just than when the famly is having some) & let it boil an hour (fills house with health-giving steam) then drink/eat the entire pot's contents. I feel top of the world for a week!

You're one of the rare few who actually reads up & understands what's going on -- most especially rare in your country, sadly. . .

I have a 4 volume "Medical Encyclopedia" (my late wife would've loved reading that). I was looking in the section of appendicitis, and it said
"If the appendix bursts, that can lead to peritonitis"...and added "This
is a very serious condition". In reading that, I thought "What was your first clue??!!".

No kidding! I'm pretty sure the burst appendix is bad enough on its own.

I love reading medical/etc. texts. As part of my job, whgen I was in oipoeratons, I had to fully understand every medical report of any cae I worked. Google weas my friend. . .

It got so when I talked to doctors they assumed I was one, too, as did nurses (helps get the job done, but I still,to be legal, would correct them, if they asked)

Like the guy in Switzewrland in teriary care (a bench in a storage shed, likely) who had a brain tumur that was going to kill him if he wasn't put
into a first world hospital with a skilled neurosurgeon asap.

I contacted his home hospital in Edmonton(Alberta), explain the situation to the head surgical nurse, after I got her respecting me thoroughly, who put me through to the surgeon's mobile as he drove home after 13 hours sttaight surgery

I began by sayting I had a patient wih a 2cm GBM in ther frontal cortex & we need a neurosurgeon to accept him as theur patient stat.

He asked me 2-3 questions, which I fielded with zero hesitation (as I'd read everything relating to the patient & his condition) then pulled over to get
the info. He verbally acdcepted t he case & I instantly faxed the latest reports & info on the patient to his office, then called the hospital to reserve a surgical bed, stat, then got one of our air ambulance guys to
muster a crew to Switzerland to fly this guy straight to Edmonton.

He took care of booking the OR, & the patient was fixed up & healing within a day. My boss called me in the next day to say I saved the guy's life. I just said, "Just followed my training, sir."

I then realized I had a lot of power, even with no medical degree. . .

I've even learned to read doctor's writing(mostly, I've lerasrned how to
cheat if needed), as it's critical at times; I needed to send a concise
summary medical report on every one of my cases to our principals overseas.

I've learned I LOVE nurses -- I don't even ask for doctors 95% of the time; I call his/her nurse directly, as she'll talk to him for me & put anything in front of him needing his signature, & done!

A little lighthearted flirting with someone with sore feet working a 12-hour night shift goes a long way!

Now I'm kicked upstairs from Operations & miss doing that interactive stuff; now I just negotiate contracts with doctors & hospitals throughout the world.
. .

Happy not to have to talk to NYC ER nurses any more, though!

Every call for a reasonable request was a tough battle/negotiation.

Onew's telling me she's the hospital's HIPPA(US privacy law) expert; I explained that I ate HIPPA for breAKFAST & WIPED MY BUTT WITH HER HOSPITAL'S INTERNAL POLICIES. Oops, sorry for caps. . . (well, I may have translated
that to use more diplomatic language, but my point was made clear!)

Nurses! Gotta love 'em! & puns (alreay love 'em)

Want to know why nurses like red crayons?
Sometimes they have to draw blood.

The nurse was eating corn
The physician was eating comd

Nurse: Sorry for the waiting
Any dad: No problem, I'm patient

The nurse made my heart skip a beat
It was fine after she plugged the life support back in.

Nurse: A patient named Stephen has come into the hospital with acidosis (meaning their blood has become too acidic)
Doctor: Stephen with a "ph"?

Nurse: Yes, a low one.
-=-
Nurse: Sorry for waiting
14 year old son: donÆt worry, IÆm patient.

Me: proudly crying.

Nurse: Hi patient, IÆm nurse

The fax they are listening to me & so eager to poke me scares my wife

&

me somewhat, but. . .eventially not having it will close employment doors to me, so might as well conform, I guess. . .

The same applies to the "Real ID" with the drivers license (at least

here

in the US). Eventually, without the Real ID, you can't enter a federal building, or fly...and it may apply also to having had the COVID-19 shot.

Of all our delivery apps, Uber has the biggest selection; they must give the better deal to the restaurants.

I got Uber eats from Wendy's last week...as I had a coupon to use.

Since discovering a fave food court restaurant(Bourbon Street Grill)

is

on Uber, my fam & I been ordering it regularly. For $15 each, it's enough food for 2-3 meals, mostly meat!

Not bad. I went to a local restaurant that offered this huge plate of spaghetti and meatballs...made like my late mother used to do. My brother gets 3 meals out of it...and he said "If you eat that whole thing, I'll
give you $10". So, after munching on some garlic cheese sticks, and some vegetable beef soup, I ate everything there, plus a slice of lemon icebox pie...and washed it all down with sweet tea. He had stepped outside for a smoke, but some of his other friends were there, and said "I was at the table the whole time, and did eat everything" (he thought I had thrown
some of it out). So, he gave me $10, which I promptly gave to the

waitress.

He then said "I'll give you $5 if you'll order and eat the meatball
marinara sandwich"...to which I said "Forget the $5, I want $100". <G>

Thge one that gets me ois how fruit & milk(& others) farmers deliberately destroy(bulldozing it under) at least 20% of their crops just to keep prices higher. . .Grrr. . .

Now, they're saying there's a shortage on fuel truck drivers to get the gasoline from the refineries to terminals to gas stations. Well, you also apparently have to have a CDL, and HazMat certification, before you can drive those tanker trucks.

If you smoke during sex, you're doing it too fast. <G>

I love the Dunham Bunch! Especially Walter & Achmed!

Did you see the recent one where Jeff changed the 4 Wi-Fi passwords,
and Peanut didn't have a clue??!! It was Jeff's version of the classic "Who's On First?" routine. And, in the original routine, there was no
name for who was in right field (no, who is on first! <G>)...so I named
him "When". So, with the Baseball Dice door from Sunrise Doors, I renamed all the players in there to characters from the skit. <G>

Not sure I'll ever visit LR, AK, as I heard it's against the law to mispronounce the state name there (I like to say ar-Kansas too much)

First, AK is Alaska...AL is Alabama, AZ is Arizona, and AR is Arkansas. You wouldn't believe how many get those confused. Second, residents are known as Arkansans, not Arkansawyans. <G> However, I'm a native Floridian, myself. At one time, some called it SASNAKRA (Arkansas spelled backwards), because they said "NO GAMBLING"...but you could bet on the horses at Hot Springs, and the greyhounds at West Memphis (a double standard).

I am in the process of putting the BBS into the cloud. I've been doing
ISP roulette, and dealing with weather issues. Hopefully by late next
week, the BBS will be back up...but with a different address (I'll
advise of it once everything's in place).

Today is the BBS's 29th birthday...in looking through the bulletins, especially on the one thanking users for contributions, etc., your name
is in there. :)

Daryl

... Support bacteria. It's the only culture some people have.
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (1:19/33)

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

George,

No kidding. There are country folks that say "you haven't lived until you've walked barefoot through a cow pasture". Uh, no thanks. :P

I'd ask them if they can do it barefoot & blindfolded!

Really.

> There should've been a sign:

"WE AIM TO PLEASE -- YOU AIM, TOO....PLEASE." <G>

One place I hung at had that & the other:

Ladies: Please say seated during the entire performance
Men: Stand close, it's shorter than you think.

ROFL!! Good one!!

Another guy noticed a man next to him in the urinal with a tattoo on
his member...but all he saw was "W Y". So, out of curiousity, he asked
about it, and it was his girlfriends name, Wendy (not sure if she was
hot and juicy or not (yes, I did just go there! <G>). Well, the next
week, it looked like it was another guy wity "W Y"...but his was
"Welcome To Jamaica...Have A Nice Day". <G>

I'm getting that (incontinence) too :( dang it all, can't I skip even
one of the frailties of age?!

The ONLY "golden" thing about "The Golden Years" is the color of your
urine.

> No one has any concern for their fellow man or woman anymore.

You've noticed that, too, eh?

Really sad, too. That's in relationships or otherwise.

Ditto for a bra., but I think the 80-year-old women might have no
choice, as that's where the twins have decided to move to. . .

Keep me abreast on things from Dolly Parton and Morganna. <G>

Hard to say...but when I was growing up, kids ate dirt, made mud pies, etc., and built up resistance to all the germs. Nowadays, everything is over-sanitized, so the kids have no chance to build up resistance or immunity to these diseases.

He can weave a good tale -- pure poetry! If you can understand his use
of cusswords as just his personal type of commas. . .

He is right, though. He also noted "If the #2 pencil is so popular, WHY is it STILL #2??".

Milder, or even zero, especially if you're treating your immune system well (eating lots of fruits, vegetables, vitamin C, Zinc, garlic,
onion, ginger)

I prefer the sweet onions (Vidalias). I can't handle the hot ones. The
diet green tea I drink quite a bit of is a good source of Vitamin C and antioxidants. I saw a commercial for Pedigree pet food, and this little
weiner dog says "Oh!! Antioxidants help me stay healthy!! I thought you
said 'anti-dachshunds'". <G>

No kidding! I'm pretty sure the burst appendix is bad enough on its
own.

Never mind a perforated colon.

It got so when I talked to doctors they assumed I was one, too, as did nurses (helps get the job done, but I still,to be legal, would correct them, if they asked)

My late wife had gone with a neighbor (who never graduated elementary school), to her doctor...and after the doctor told her neighbor what was
going on, my wife asked her "Did you understand that??". When she replied
"No", my wife growled "Ok, Doc, I understood it, but she didn't it. Would
you mind saying it again in layman's terms??".

He took care of booking the OR, & the patient was fixed up & healing within a day. My boss called me in the next day to say I saved the
guy's life. I just said, "Just followed my training, sir."

Good for you.

I then realized I had a lot of power, even with no medical degree. . .

Mine are Fahrenheint, Celsius, and Kelvin, below the numeric goose egg...
3 degrees below zero. <G>

I've even learned to read doctor's writing(mostly, I've lerasrned how
to cheat if needed), as it's critical at times; I needed to send a
concise summary medical report on every one of my cases to our
principals overseas.

I think of the meme noting "Doctors On Strike"...the picket signs are
all done in shorthand. <G>

A little lighthearted flirting with someone with sore feet working a 12-hour night shift goes a long way!

I heard of one nurse who had worked a 16 hour day Thursday night and
Friday day. As she got off, she got her paycheck and went to the bank.
But, she didn't have her writing utensil in her purse, but only a rectal thermometer. She growled "Some @$$h0le has got my pen". <G>

Several years ago (long before COVID-19), I was in the hospital (don't
recall for what), but a lot of the ladies I square danced with were nurses
on my ward!! You talk about getting grief and one's chain pulled!! <G>

have translated that to use more diplomatic language, but my point was made clear!)

Sometimes, you have to get real graphic.

Nurses! Gotta love 'em! & puns (alreay love 'em)

Want to know why nurses like red crayons?
Sometimes they have to draw blood.

Well, time to go visit Dracula.

Nurse: Sorry for the waiting
Any dad: No problem, I'm patient

The woman is in labor, and the doctor asked "is this her first child?",
and is told "No, this is her husband".

Reminds me of the joke where this woman was in labor, and the OB-GYN
says they want to try out a new method to transfer all the pain from
childbirth from the mother to the father. Momma was definitely for it,
and Dad had a high pain tolerance, so they did it.

The doctor slowly increased the pain until the max....neither one had
pain, and she delivered a healthy baby boy.

When they got home, the milkman was found dead on the porch. <G>

The nurse made my heart skip a beat
It was fine after she plugged the life support back in.

Or you press the emergency call button, and when they all rush in,
and you say "just wanted to see if you were there". <G> And, if they
give you that morphine, you may not even wear a gown...the way they
are in the back, that's why they call it "I C U". <G>

Nurse: A patient named Stephen has come into the hospital with acidosis (meaning their blood has become too acidic)
Doctor: Stephen with a "ph"?

Nurse: Yes, a low one.

I would say so (took me a moment on that one).

-=-
Nurse: Sorry for waiting
14 year old son: donÆt worry, IÆm patient.

Me: proudly crying.

Nurse: Hi patient, IÆm nurse

Never mind taking a turn for the nurse.

Daryl

... Floggings will continue until morale improves.
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (1:19/33)

Ditto for a bra., but I think the 80-year-old women might have no choice, as that's where the twins have decided to move to. . .

Keep me abreast on things from Dolly Parton and Morganna. <G>

Polly Darton, I'll always remember them -- but who is Morganna?

He is right, though. He also noted "If the #2 pencil is so popular, WHY

is

it STILL #2??".

& there's never been a good answerto that one yet!

Seinfeld asks, "If he's the Best Man, why is she marrying HIM!"

I prefer the sweet onions (Vidalias). I can't handle the hot ones. The diet green tea I drink quite a bit of is a good source of Vitamin C and antioxidants. I saw a commercial for Pedigree pet food, and this little weiner dog says "Oh!! Antioxidants help me stay healthy!! I thought you
said 'anti-dachshunds'". <G>

The Spanish onions are best in medicinal soups or teas, I find.

I love Vidalia dressing at Subway. . .

My late wife had gone with a neighbor (who never graduated elementary school), to her doctor...and after the doctor told her neighbor what was going on, my wife asked her "Did you understand that??". When she replied "No", my wife growled "Ok, Doc, I understood it, but she didn't it. Would you mind saying it again in layman's terms??".

Right -- the doctor's job is to inform the patient directly! Unlessd the doc was paying your wife to translate. .

Guy went to see his doc & after a 3-hour exam & tests, said, "Give it to me straight, dc, what's wrong with me? & don't use fancy civilian terms -- tell
it to me straight."

Doc: "You're darn lazy!"
Man: "Perfect; now give it to me in medical terms so I can tell my wife!"

I thought about that one for year, finaly coming up with the medical term:

MD(H)D (Motivational Deficit Disorder (with Hypoactivity))

Yyjhere was this duburban dad trying to put together a big outdoor toy for
his son, but he could't decipher the instructions, even with the hand-drawn pictures of mutant dinosaurs that were intended to make it easier.

His old (88yo) neighbour, possibly Wilson, says he can help.

Gratefuly, the tyoung dad accepts.


Wilson comes over & hasd it put togeher & working in 5 minutes.

Dad asksd how; Wilson says, "Never learned how to read, so had to learn to think for myself instead."

I then realized I had a lot of power, even with no medical degree. .

.

Mine are Fahrenheint, Celsius, and Kelvin, below the numeric goose

egg...

3 degrees below zero. <G>

Yup:

X-X*1
------------
PhD, MA, BSc

Nurse: Hi patient, IÆm nurse

Never mind taking a turn for the nurse.

They frown on that, in spite of what Penthouse Letters might have said.

I flirted, though, & had my fun. . .

Got my main nurse one day; I went uyp tothe desk to tell her "Latetly everything I eat goes straight to my stomach."

She heads to the doctor booking clipboard & starts writing; I ask her what she's doing (making you an appt to see the doctor.) why? She repeats what I said & I repeat it back slowly, until she got it & growled & grinned.

To my wife I can speak of a problem of post-somnolent tumescence; she's
trained in medical terminology & would understand completely & tell me good luck with it. . ,

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

George,

Keep me abreast on things from Dolly Parton and Morganna. <G>

Polly Darton, I'll always remember them -- but who is Morganna?

She was known as "The Kissing Bandit", and was rather "well endowed". :P

Seinfeld asks, "If he's the Best Man, why is she marrying HIM!"

Really. In a nudist wedding, you can tell who the best man is. <G>

I love Vidalia dressing at Subway. . .

Will have to try that sometime.

Right -- the doctor's job is to inform the patient directly! Unlessd
the doc was paying your wife to translate. .

Not that I know of.

Guy went to see his doc & after a 3-hour exam & tests, said, "Give it
to me straight, dc, what's wrong with me? & don't use fancy civilian
terms -- tell it to me straight."

Doc: "You're darn lazy!"
Man: "Perfect; now give it to me in medical terms so I can tell my
wife!"

LOL!!

I flirted, though, & had my fun. . .

Years ago, several ladies who I square danced with, were nurses on my ward
in the hospital. I got a ton of grief, and chain pulling. <G>

Daryl

... A Sysop and his money are soon...Hey!! Where's my wallet??!!
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:19/33)

George,

Keep me abreast on things from Dolly Parton and Morganna. <G>

Polly Darton, I'll always remember them -- but who is Morganna?

She was known as "The Kissing Bandit", and was rather "well endowed". :P

Seinfeld asks, "If he's the Best Man, why is she marrying HIM!"

Really. In a nudist wedding, you can tell who the best man is. <G>

Not necessarily the man she's marrying. . .

They don't need to be nude to find out who's the largest. He's the one who doesn't say, "Size isn't important. Women prefer other things about a man."

Or, "It's not the size o the bot, it's the motion in the ocean that counts."

I love Vidalia dressing at Subway. . .

Will have to try that sometime.

They have it off & on -- Costco has a good sweet onion dressing, but you need to buy 2 one-gallon jugs at a time!

Right -- the doctor's job is to inform the patient directly! Unlessd the doc was paying your wife to translate. .

Not that I know of.

There you go -- the doc is to tell his patient. I communicate well with my
GP. as she knows I know enough medical jargon she doesn't need to "dumb it down" for me. Same with my dentist -- even with my son the dentist knows not to simplify terms!

Years ago, several ladies who I square danced with, were nurses on my

ward

in the hospital. I got a ton of grief, and chain pulling.

That sounds like it was fun! I like when nurses are human/real. . .

When I was 19, I was getting IVs 4 times a day & an injection 6X day (awake
or not).

One time, at the 6 hour mark, I was to get my IV swapped out & the Heperon
Lock flushed, but the nursesd werre doing shift change,m s I just went ahead
& did it exacyly as I'd seenb them do it a dozen t imes already.

When the new shift'sd nurse came over she was 'mad' at me, while smiling & winking, especially when she saw how professional the job I did was.

She requested nicely, so I didn't do it again.

These nursese weere greast -- the food suicked (big surprise!) & I'd be up at 2am, wandering in the hall, & I'd snell good stuff from t he nursing station
-- as they'd oprder in at night, & then took to inviting me in to share the yummy outside food with them. Good times. . .

I always make friends with my nurses, as I seek not to be a problem patient, but I will be assertive in my actual needs.

I failed my medical school entrance exam last week, thanks to nerves.
The correct answer was blood vessels.

Why are so many medical examiners hired on January 1st?
It's always, "New Year, new ME"

Q: What do fish do when they need medical attention?
A: Sea kelp

I went to the library to get a medical book on abdominal pain.
Somebody had ripped the appendix out.

I asked my boss if he would donate to my organization that provides medical support to Asian children with terminal diseases so they donÆt have to be put down.
He hasnÆt responded yet, but when he does IÆll find out if he supports
youth in Asia.

My friend is a medical professional who does circumcisions for a living.
He doesn't get paid much, but at least he gets to keep all the tips.

A warden implemented a policy to only allow medical assistance to inmates
that previously cooperated
They called it "Snitches get stitches"

I wear a stethoscope so that in a medical emergency...
I can teach people a valuable lesson about assumptions.

True story: we bought our son, when he was 8, a genuine medical student grade (interns buy the same one) stethescope. He checked on our dog's heart condition. (good)

Tesla just started production of medical gear to support hospital workers... The Elon Mask is their first product.

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

George,

Really. In a nudist wedding, you can tell who the best man is. <G>

Not necessarily the man she's marrying. . .

This is true...but sex isn't the be all and end all of marriage. It's
a fringe benefit.

They don't need to be nude to find out who's the largest. He's the one
who doesn't say, "Size isn't important. Women prefer other things
about a man."

My late wife had an inner beauty that more than made up for things. Folks have told me they get married to have sex legally, and I tell them they're doing it for the wrong reason.

There you go -- the doc is to tell his patient. I communicate well with
my GP. as she knows I know enough medical jargon she doesn't need to
"dumb it down" for me. Same with my dentist -- even with my son the dentist knows not to simplify terms!

I've had to cut back on medical deals because of finances. Besides trying
to get the BBS into the cloud, I'm having to sell my car to take care of plumbing issues at the house. I will take Uber out twice a month to the
Post Office, but will have groceries and medications delivered. Otherwise,
I'm staying home. That kills my independence, but I have no choice right
now.

That sounds like it was fun! I like when nurses are human/real. . .

Talk about taking a turn for the nurse. <G>

When the new shift'sd nurse came over she was 'mad' at me, while
smiling & winking, especially when she saw how professional the job I
did was.

I liked the one where this guy was in the hospital, and he detested
the nurse "baby talking to him". They always asked for a urine sample,
so he got the idea to order some apple juice. He hid it under the sheet
to warm it up. The nurse walked in, asking for a sample, then walked out
so he could have his privacy to fill the specimen cup. Unknown to her,
he poured the apple juice in there. She walked back in, and alarmingly
said "Oooo...a little dark" (which usually means you're dehydrated).
The man promptly grabbed the cup, and said "That's OK, I'll run it
through again!!", and swigged it down. The nurse fainted dead away,
and never bothered him again. <G>

These nursese weere greast -- the food suicked (big surprise!) & I'd be
up at 2am, wandering in the hall, & I'd snell good stuff from t he
nursing station -- as they'd oprder in at night, & then took to
inviting me in to share the yummy outside food with them. Good times.
. .

Good for you!! :)

I always make friends with my nurses, as I seek not to be a problem patient, but I will be assertive in my actual needs.

That's the way to do it.

I failed my medical school entrance exam last week, thanks to nerves.
The correct answer was blood vessels.

My heart bleeds. <G>

Why are so many medical examiners hired on January 1st?
It's always, "New Year, new ME"

Or adjusting the covering, you're turning over a new leaf. <G>

Q: What do fish do when they need medical attention?
A: Sea kelp

They might have to scale things back a bit.

I went to the library to get a medical book on abdominal pain.
Somebody had ripped the appendix out.

Made the book easier to look at, though.

He hasnÆt responded yet, but when he does IÆll find out if he
supports youth in Asia.

Maybe he wants to sleep on it.

My friend is a medical professional who does circumcisions for a
living. He doesn't get paid much, but at least he gets to keep all the tips.

Fore skins and seven clips ago... <G>

A warden implemented a policy to only allow medical assistance to
inmates that previously cooperated
They called it "Snitches get stitches"

Never mind Dr. Seuss' "The Sneetch". Darn shame much of that is being
banned.

I wear a stethoscope so that in a medical emergency...
I can teach people a valuable lesson about assumptions.

As long as you're on this side of the grass.

Tesla just started production of medical gear to support hospital workers... The Elon Mask is their first product.

Maybe they need to go on vaccination...or are their travel plans
shot??

Daryl

... A narcissist is someone better looking than you are. -Gore Vidal
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:19/33)

This is true...but sex isn't the be all and end all of marriage. It's
a fringe benefit.

It's some of both for some people.

My dad said, & I agree, that a piece of paper doesn't mean you're truly
married & a lack of one doesn't mean you're not.

(he was married, though, twice to the same woman, in the same week! I was
born 2.5 years later, so nobody can legit call me a bastard!)

I've been married without paper before (still legally married after 1 year,
or 6 months, if you file taxes as a couple.) & have now been married 13.5 years, with paper. . .

Folks

have told me they get married to have sex legally, and I tell them they're doing it for the wrong reason.

Yup. I tell people to not mock marriage by going into it for the wrong reasonsd, If you just want to boink, then do so. . .

I've had to cut back on medical deals because of finances. Besides

trying

to get the BBS into the cloud, I'm having to sell my car to take care of plumbing issues at the house. I will take Uber out twice a month to the
Post Office, but will have groceries and medications delivered. Otherwise, I'm staying home. That kills my independence, but I have no choice right now.

It sucks that you guys are the only G20 mation without 100% medical
coverage!

That sounds like it was fun! I like when nurses are human/real. . .

Talk about taking a turn for the nurse. <G>

Nah, I behave. . mostly. . .

I was in hospital years ago & my girlfriend was visiting, I asked her to
close the curtains & hop into the bed with me; she balked, saying my roomies would hear; my neigbour pipes up, "I won't listen -- go ahead!"

She then asks me, "Wjhat will we do if a nurse pokes her head in?"

I answered "She's going to ask, 'what do you think you're doing?' & while
she's waiting for an answer, we finish!"

She still refused --no sense of adventure! *sigh* (not that time, anyway)

I liked the one where this guy was in the hospital, and he detested
the nurse "baby talking to him". They always asked for a urine sample,
so he got the idea to order some apple juice. He hid it under the sheet
to warm it up. The nurse walked in, asking for a sample, then walked out
so he could have his privacy to fill the specimen cup. Unknown to her,
he poured the apple juice in there. She walked back in, and alarmingly
said "Oooo...a little dark" (which usually means you're dehydrated).
The man promptly grabbed the cup, and said "That's OK, I'll run it
through again!!", and swigged it down. The nurse fainted dead away,
and never bothered him again. <G>

I heard it as:
Nurse: "It looks a little cloudy"
Patient: "No problem, I'll just run it through again" *glug*glug*

I always make friends with my nurses, as I seek not to be a problem patient, but I will be assertive in my actual needs.

That's the way to do it.

Yup - works well; my job for a number of yrears was basically flirting weith nurses over the phone to get them to bend the rules for my clients. . .

I wear a stethoscope so that in a medical emergency...
I can teach people a valuable lesson about assumptions.

As long as you're on this side of the grass.

Every dasy you wake up above ground is a good day!

A man clutched his chest & collapsed.

A guy RAN over saying, "I just finished a First Aid course, I'll take care of it."

A woman came up & suggested he let her in, as he was flipping pages in his manual to find thge next steps.

He said to her, "Don't worry, little lady, I got it covered. Let a man do his thing, please."

As he's flipping pages & reading, she taps him on the shoulder & says, ever
so sweetlly, "When you get to the part about calling a doctor, I'm already here."

... A narcissist is someone better looking than you are. -Gore Vidal

Q: What's a supermodel's favourite hot beverage?
A: Vanity

My wife looked at me beaming with pride and said, ôWow! I never thought our
son could go so far!ö
I said, ôI know. This trebuchet is amazing. Go get our daughter.ö

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

(a) The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

(b) On the other hand, the French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer
heart attacks than the British or Americans.

(c) The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks
than the British or Americans.

(d) The Italians drink lots of red wine and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

Conclusion: Eat and drink what you like. It's speaking English that kills
you.

Received from Pastor Tim.
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:19/33)